Monday, December 11, 2006

Home Improvements


There comes a time in every man's life when he takes on the role of a tool-man, a jack-of-all-trades, a fix-it man, a plumber, a roofer, or just plain home-improvement specialist. Being married for 15 years, I have seen many of these appointments with destiny. Being the female I am, I gladly step aside and let the testosterone toting man-of-the-house save time AND money by taking care of disasters, both minor and major.

When a problem arises, there are many variables that come into play. One such occasion brought a flood...literally. The unfortunate thing was that I was alone. Well, the kids were with me, but they didn't help. I called my dear husband. Why? Was there anything he could do from Chattanooga, Tennessee? No...but it helped to get my hysteria under control so I could think more clearly. I had to call a plumber. We had a busted pipe outside that leaked into our house. It only cost a few hundred dollars.

Because of the mildewy smell in our carpet for a few days and the mopping up of GALLONS of water, DH decided it was necessary to buy a wet/dry vac. I, ashamedly, scoffed.....until a few months later when our 3rd son managed to flood the bathroom while washing one of his Hot Wheels cars. It came in really handy.

Now, come with me, if you would, to our most recent event. I was picking up in the boys' bedroom. I went into the closet and was affronted with a smell. Not too shocking, considering how many soccer shoes we have in that closet...but this smell was different....mildewy. BLECH. Further inspection revealed my worst nightmare....a moldy baseboard. (Remember the flooded kitchen from a few paragraphs ago? Could that be the reason?)

Shortly after my horrifying discovery, my hubby came home. He immediately went to investigate the depth of our problems. He sat in the closet with kitchen scissors, flashlights, fan, latex gloves, mask and a carpet cutter. He tore off the baseboard and pulled some of the carpet. He wiped it all down with bleach. He knew that the mold went into the wall...but where from?

OK...now back up a few weeks before that. We discovered another puddle of water in the kitchen. It wasn't the flood of months before. The puddle, it was soon discovered, came from under the refrigerator. Our ice maker line had a pin-hole and water just spewed out. My fix-it man went to work straight away. After discovering that chewed up bubble gum didn't hold it (you think I'm making that up...I assure you, I'm not) he went to the hardware store and got another line. After a total of about 2 hours, we had the line fixed. I need to consider a suede toolbelt for my baby to wear for me....after hours ;)

Well, our current problem of mold came from that flood. SO, DH decided he needed to wipe down the inside of the walls. The only way to get rid of mold is to kill it. We needed to know for sure that the water came from that line a few weeks prior. SO...a hole was cut into the boys' closet. It's not big, but enough to get a flashlight in to look. DH saw no water in the walls. To the untrained wife, that is good news. To the very smart, and very hardworking tool-man, that is bad news. So the search continued. He hammered, swore a little, and finally asked me to look into the pantry (on the other side of the wall he was on) to see if he had poked through the wall.

"NO! I DON'T SEE ANYTHING!"

"ARE YOU SURE?" hammering proceeds..."CHECK NOW!"

"NOPE! WAIT...I THINK IT IS IN THE WALL BEHIND THE FRIDGE!"

"OK...GO CHECK TO SEE IF YOU SEE THE TIP OF THE SCREWDRIVER!"

This, dear reader is where the story turns sadly hilarious...or hilariously sad...depending on your outlook. I can honestly say that I have laughed my butt off numerous times over this.

After several moments of silence, I go to him and inform him that I do, indeed, see the screwdriver sticking out of the wall.....

Out of the wall......

Touching the fridge....(go ahead. open the door and check)

Into the fridge....

Through the side of the crisper drawer.

Yes, my husband hammered the screwdriver through one wall, into and THROUGH my refrigerator wall. What did my husband do then?

He got the duct tape.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA That could happen at my house. Your fridge is so clean!

Gina M. said...

LL ~ Be sure and tell David that John and I had a good laugh at his expense.

Mommy Spice said...

I am cracking up right now!! Would you like to hear a similiar story. I don't know if D.S. told you, but we found a leak after draining S.G.'s bath the other night....into our living room...under the wood boards....and under our bathroom cabinets. He therefore, cut a hole through our bathroom cabinet, through the wall so we could see S.G.'s bathtub. He found the leak, but we have mold issues to deal with and lots of repair. Do you think we have the same house builders?