Wednesday, May 31, 2006

No better

I don't like to sweat....I really don't. But, I do workout at the local YMCA. Something about being 29 (for six years straight) makes one soft in the middle...and the ends...and the sides...even in the head.

I went to workout yesterday. I've been pretty proud of myself for sticking with it for a few months now. I try to go 3 times a week (depending on sickness and appointments and such.) I do 25 minutes of reading *ahem* I mean biking and then spend about 40 minutes doing the weight machines. My arms are my big focus.

Yesterday, while I was there, I ran into a friend of mine. She wore no makeup. Not a bad thing, except I'm used to seeing her in makeup. She looked different. But, I'm sure I looked different to her as well. I was wearing the tiniest amount of makeup. (Who knew a 29 year old would continue to get pimples?)

My friend left and I transitioned from the bike to the weights. While lifting, I watched (discreetly, or course) 4 ladies on the elliptical machines. They were soft in areas. I felt bad for them. Obviously they needed to work on their physique. I realized, as I watched them, that there are certain characteristics of a stay-at-home-mom that I DO want....and certainly some that I don't.

I quickly put myself back into the right frame of mind. I was working out because I am also soft in many areas of my person. I don't wear makeup as much as I could....or should for that matter. (No, I'm not a spokesperson for Cover Girl, but every old barn could use a fresh coat of paint now and again.) I don't want to be frumpy and dumpy. I want my husband to be proud to have me on his arm. I want to be able to go out at a moment's notice and not worry that I didn't wash my hair (again) or that my 7-day deodorant has expired. (THAT'S A JOKE!!!! My deodorant lasts well beyond the 7 days. LOL)

Anyway, instead of being so critical of how others look, I need to stop avoiding the mirror at the Y. I need to take a hard look at myself for ways to improve. Beauty IS only skin deep....if I choose to be shallow. There is nothing wrong with working on my appearance if it makes me feel better. And I think it does. I'm no Miss really, I'm not! But I can do the best with what I have. Beauty DOES come from the inside. There should be so much beauty inside that it bubbles out to the surface and to things that I come in contact with. I have so much to do on the inside, but it starts with outside influences, from what I take in through diet as well as other forms of nourishment.

I'm no better than other stay-at-home-moms. We're all in that stage of surviving without losing ourselves. Hmmmm....I guess I need to buy a bigger map.

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