The FTU

I have, in the past, referred to my beloved FTU. Before I go into what I want to get into...well, let's just talk about the old girl.

The FTU is an acronym for Family Transport Unit. I know it sounds a bit corny to the normal driver out there, but it is a very necessary and fitting title for, what is also known by my kids as, The Purple Van. Now Purple Van sounds a bit juvenile, doesn't it? What we needed was a much more mature title. I always knew I'd have 4 kids. I always knew I'd live in Texas. I also knew that I would NOT....let me repeat NOT drive a mini-van. I cringe even as I type the words.

February 2003 found us diligently and very purposefully looking for something larger than a Hyundai Elantra. Two carseats barely fit in the back, yet I was pregnant with my 3rd child. The search for a bigger vehicle ensued. Yes, I was gainfully employed, as was my husband. However, I defer to my man on such big decisions. He researched. He watched vehicles on the highway. He asked around. He compared prices. He pulled our credit. All of that led us to a few possibilities. The decision was made by a very wise and concerned man....he made the final decision on safety.

How excited I was to be in something bigger. Would it be an Explorer? No...we had discussed that and it would not be what we needed for the family we would eventually have. Would it be a station wagon? Do they even make those anymore? LOL...THAT, my friend, was a joke. Would it be a Suburban? Really? OOOOOH, this is getting good! Oh...my husband knows me so well and he will do anything for me. I secretly rubbed my palms together then patted my swollen belly in excited anticipation as I was about to see our new (new to us, anyway) bigger vehicle...appropriate for the soccer mom that I was called to be. It was......a purple van! A Plymouth Voyager. Hmmmmm....not exactly what I had in my head.

In my own rebellious way, I decided to dub the vehicle something else. I refuse REFUSE to drive a mini-van....I drive a FAMILY TRANSPORT UNIT! Or, FTU for short.

So this FTU has been with us for a bit over 3 years. It has been to the "van doctor" more times than we can count. But you know what? It is paid for, it runs, and it holds ALL my kids. We just have 1 major problem. THE SMELL!!!!!

Now, I will admit that it is mostly my fault. We grab fast food quite a bit. I know some dedicated moms who refuse to let their kids eat in their vehicles. WHATEVER! Are you kidding me? To listen to them beg for their chicken and fries for the 4 miles home? "BE QUIET!!!! EAT A FRENCH FRY! HAVE SOME SODA!!! JUST LET ME HEAR THIS SONG!"

I am painfully aware that my lack of housekeeping abilities has crept into FTU upkeep. I can only hope that I'm not harboring any vermin...as has been known to happen to a friend of mine. EWWWW! WAIT! That could be the ticket! Perhaps the discovery of mouse leftovers could be just the thing to convince that wonderful man of mine to get me that long awaited Suburban!

I'm really not that conniving....you know that, right? RIGHT?