I KNOW YOU'RE JEALOUS!

OK. I've been looking at all the stuff around me. I have so much to be thankful for. It is so easy to be "warm and fuzzy" when thinking about this. The whole "healthy family, happy home" idea is wonderful and I'm TRULY thankful for that. But, I am a "gifts" person. THINGS are important to me. I know...that is not PC, nor does it sound nice coming from a person like me, but there it is. I'm a material girl. The point of this blog entry is this: I only want to brag about my connections. AND, I want to RUB IT IN!!!!

I know you don't know this, but I have all of the following AT MY FINGERTIPS! All of this has come, via my email, within the last 4 hours. I don't know if any of you could get so many wonderful opportunities so quickly. I have been thinking about all the people I know...I just don't think they have what it takes to be selected for such blessings. Nope, they can't do it. All I know is that my reputation must be such that all these "people" are courting me. SO, read 'em and weep. I know you're jealous.

1. I am able to see some pictures of "singles" in my area...I'll bet they're "purty!"

2. My "secret lover" has left me MULTIPLE messages...he (or she) is almost like a stalker - leaving messages DAILY!

3. If I want to become a police officer, I have been sent an official link to become one...me with a gun...a BIG gun...I like that.

4. I could get $500 in Burger King Burger Bucks! (Of course, if I do that, I might not have a secret lover anymore.

5. Walmart apparently has a shipment ready for me....I just have to go through pages of "free offers" and apply for a credit card to get it sent out right away.

6. I could have the holiday of my dreams...as soon as I qualify for a loan.

7. Somebody is obviously thinking he (or she) is "Juicy" enough to send me a picture..."Juicy".....hmmmmmm....how does a person look "juicy?"

8. If I have bad credit, it is OK, but I am rewarded if I have good credit...I'm so relieved.

9. OH, and get this, I can "Fly on American Airlines, On Us." What does that mean? Of course it's "on" them. LOL!

10. I can get $1500 in my bank account in "ONE HOUR"...and I'll bet dollars to donuts I could get it OUT of my account in MUCH less time.

11. There are more people out there sending me pictures...and they will make me sweat! Um...no thanks...I don't DO sweat. ICK.

12. This is interesting: "Two Sneakers, One Challenge, Your Choice." Well, I can see that - assuming I don't know left from right. There is your challenge right there, then it's a 50/50 shot, right?

13. I can be in demand and advance my career. Well, let me tell you something, as a SAHM of 4 boys (not to mention the local sex goddess of the estate)...I AM in demand!

14. Dish Network has all the products and services I want. I will sign up (with the $1500 in my account) as soon as they show me which laundry service they will provide for me.

15. Am I looking for a nice jewelry present? SHAH!!!!!

So there you have it. Are you jealous now? I knew you would be. Although your holidays will OBVIOUSLY not be as wonderful as mine, please feel free to live vicariously through me.