If we could get paid for the natural gas on our property we would be rich. Rarely does a day go by that somebody doesn't do something that rumbles and smells. It doesn't end with these Oscar worthy performances. The planning, describing and reminiscing of said noises could win a Pulitzer Prize.
I can remember, when very young, popping up from the backseat of the car and proudly (and obnoxiously) asking, "WHO STINKIED?" I was quickly "shushed" by my mother as my dad did his best to hide his chuckle. Proud he was to have a daughter so acutely aware of the important things in life....only to be quashed by the female in the family.
Today, it's an embarrassing phenomenon. I try to be the proper mother, but am sadly outnumbered by these rude, crude and socially unacceptable males who are not only adept, but darn proud of what they can make their bodies do. Realizing my defeat (and not wanting to admit it) I have decided that I can accept these occurrences, as long as the audience includes the immediate family ONLY! Though they can scarcely understand how the grandparents (well the grandmother, anyway) truly aren't proud of their accomplishments.
Not only have these fumes been able to peel paint from the walls, but they have been known to save lives...or at least make it a bit easier.
"How," you ask?
Let me explain.
MANY times, I've had to scold my oldest for something such as hitting a brother, taking a toy, hitting a brother, talking back, hitting a brother, not instantly obeying...you get the picture. And often, right slap in the middle of said scolding, with a VERY serious look, my oldest will ask in a whisper, "Do you smell that, Mom?"
Now, how can I compete with that? I mean, think about it. These little noises of rumbles and fluff were cute in the past....much like baby's first "doody." Now these noxious odors could kill a cat. Once a parent realizes the difference between cute and horrid...well, frankly, it is often too late.
It doesn't end in air turbulence. Often, I hear one son beckoning from the bathroom to another son, "COME LOOK!" My children, though young, are very well-versed in...heh...I'll let you imagine.
When sick with any type of tummy ailment, it is not unheard of for the well child to ask (with an abundance of sympathy, of course), "Did you throw up?" AND with weakened utterances, the puny child will give a very clear description of all symptoms, sounds and smells that accompany said ailment.
So infiltrated is my home that even on the bookshelves, resides a funny little character named "Captain Underpants." In fact, my son just finished reading, "Captain Underpants and the Preposterous Plight of the Purple Potty People." These are great reads for boys...actually, you could just come over for dinner and get a lot of the same stuff.
Alas, I am a parent outnumbered. Even when my partner in crime is home, he is more THEIR partner than mine. The boys are apprentices in this art. Perhaps some day we will host and Olympic game, of sorts.
Tomorrow is my 16th wedding anniversary. I don't feel old enough to have been married 16 years. We have had a lot to go through and deal with. Unlike so many we know, we still love each other. AND I'm happy to say, we even LIKE each other (a very important quality in a happy marriage.)
My hubby and I were in the same 1st grade class. We were in the same classes all through high school. We dated for 2 years, then broke up. We went to the same college, and during our 2nd year, we got back together and soon got married.
We had 8 bridesmaids and 8 groomsmen. My dad gave me away, then performed the ceremony...so special to me. My piano accompanist from high school played the wedding march. My high school choir teacher sang. It was truly so wonderful. I had my dream wedding. My colors were forest green and ivory....or to hear my mother tell it, "EMERALD AND MOON GLOW." LOL! Isn't that great?
My cousin, a caterer, gave us our wedding cake: 3 tiers with 5 satellite cakes - all different flavors with the flavored cream filling. YUM!
As previously stated, we have gone through a lot, and accomplished SO much.
We have lived in Lubbock, Austin, Florida, Alamogordo, NM, Silver City, NM, then back to Texas.
We have successfully brought into the world 4 beautiful, healthy boys.
We have graduated college.
We have decided that DH does NOT really want to be a lawyer, hence moving from Austin (law school) to Florida (flight training.)
We have lost a parent.
We have had nieces born.
We have had siblings marry.
We have had friends divorce.
We have bought homes.
We have bought vehicles.
We have yelled.
We have cried.
We have laughed.
We have argued.
Most importantly, through it all, we have loved.
To hear people describe their own marriage...well, I can't imagine what a lot of these people go through. They don't like their mates, or they are always fighting, or...so many things.
We are SO BLESSED! We worship together. God is the head of our household, with DH as His personal representative for our family. I have to make more decisions than a fundamentalist would approve of a woman making...and please....my dh is gone 50% of the time...I have to. BUT, when he is home, he slips into the boss's chair. AND, when I do make decisions, I always take my hubby's wishes in mind.
My hubby is one of THE BEST men in this world. He will do anything for me. He will do anything for his children. He respects me. He helps me. He understands my personal issues. He chooses to learn about me. (Heck, he even knows about bottle nipples, breast pads and nursing bras.)
He is my soul mate. I am very blessed to have him in my life. I ache with the love I feel for him. I pray that I never disappoint him. He is the man of my dreams.
Happy anniversary, Honey! I LOVE YOU MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF!
So DH came across a set of questions that was to determine your personal level of anger. DH proudly stated that he was "normal" and laughed at approximately 1/3 of the questions he asked me. My rating? "Run to a psychologist as quickly as possible...you have anger management issues."
Anyway, as he read the questions, and I answered "true" to about 70% of the questions, I figured he would say that the test said I was depressed. But NOOOOOOO, I'm ANGRY! So now, instead of others walking on eggshells around me because I might crack, they walk on eggshells because I might explode.
My hubby seriously jokes...you know those, don't you? Comments that are veiled in humor and dripping in truth? I would say something to the kids and dh would grin (in his sarcastic way) and say "Are you angry?" chuckle, chuckle. Either way, I don't know how to respond...I'm either in denial, or proving his point, right?
Well, last night was one of THE WORST mommy moments of my life. My oldest son, at the tender age of 8, accidentally spilled something. I told him to pick up the cup. In my defense (shaky as it is) he did not instantly obey...which is rule number 1 in school and we are trying to keep that in the house. When he didn't, I lost it. I kept yelling at him. I jumped up to get a towel, came back and my son had been completely defeated. I have never seen him crushed so harshly. He was sobbing.
God INSTANTLY convicted me. I have never had my words ricochet and hurt me to the core, as those did. I didn't curse. I didn't swear. I didn't call him names. It was all in my tone. The volume and force of my voice, pushed my child...the one I would kill for, AND die for...to tears. :(
I was/am heartbroken. I took him to his room to talk. I told him that I had messed up and should not have yelled. I told him that I knew it was an accident. I asked him to forgive me...he did. I hugged him and gave him a kiss and told him, "I love you." And I still feel terrible.
Last night saw more than his tears....there were a lot of mine. The guilt I felt, and still feel, is sharp. I thought I was over it until a friend said I was a "good mom" for making the breakfasts I do. I laughed and confessed my shortcomings. I fought back more tears.
My son is in school right now. I pray that children are as resilient as people say. I pray that he forgives AND forgets. I pray that I haven't scarred him. I pray that his memories are NOT of Mom yelling and losing control, but of Mom loving and spending quality time with him. Above all, I pray that I DON'T forget and learn how to deal with my obvious anger issues.
I was tagged for another meme by Make you work more. Here are the rules:
1. You have to post these rules before you give the facts. 2. Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had. 3. When you are tagged you need to write your own blog-post containing your own middle name game facts. 4. At the end of your blog-post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog
Mine is easy: ANN
A - analytical (think about the first 4 letters....that is me.)
N - nice...I guess. I mean, I'm nice to most folk. :D
N - nerdy
Ok....tagged: Mischief Managed, Seven 4 Heaven and Absolutely His.
Anyway, I know my dear, dedicated readers, that you are aching for me to post. Since my poor desktop's passing, I have been limited to the time I have. I hope to be able to fix that very problem by the end of the weekend. At that point, I shall be able to share my thoughts, ideas and rantings in the fashion you have come to expect.
So, last time we talked about this, we were a mere eight months away. It ain't long, folks! I posted on April 25th...with URGENCY...the need to start thinking about Christmas. You can read about it here. Well, guess what? Almost FOUR MONTHS have passed! Have you been keeping up? Are you getting ready? How many sleeps before Christmas?
It really is a family joke...a serious one, but still, something my hubby and I laugh about. He teases me about my passion for the holidays. And I don't mind because I know that HE knows that I'm truly serious about it all.
It usually goes something like this (and it generally starts in June.) Picture this...we are in bed. (Stop right there. Don't imagine anything. It does not matter what we are...or are not...wearing. The point I'm trying to make is that my hubby is usually asleep...or close to.) I roll over to face him and usually, I just grin. When he feels my intense stare, he looks up and says, "WHAT?!" I continue to grin and say, "Honey? It's June." Then, he knows. He knows exactly where I'm going with the opener. He knows that I'm going to tell him that Christmas is ONLY 6 months away. He knows I'm going to reach for my pad of paper and a pen and start to jot down gift ideas, or a card list or menu ideas.
And honestly, I am not being silly....I really do all of that. And though my sweet hubby rolls his eyes, says "Oh my gosh" and tries to roll over to sleep, he knows that all the squeaking he hears would be from the wheels turning in my wee brain. He knows that the smell of smoke is just a by-product of all the activity in my noggin, AND if he is lucky, the inhalation will lead to a quick and peaceful time of unconsciousness.
We must get real, folks. It is no longer June. We have only 4 months and a few days to get ready for THE day. Well...not get ready...but to celebrate. You only have about 3.5 months to actually get DONE being ready.
Stick with me and I will walk you through the holidays relatively unscathed, going crazy over what to get whom, what and when to bake, possible menu items and the whole insanity which is the holiday season.
Your homework...and this should be done by September...is to choose and order your Christmas cards. I have. :D If you order through Walter Drake by September 5, you get FREE personalization on your envelopes.
I'm a full-time mom to 4 wonderful boys ages 16, 14, 12 and 10. My sweet hubby, who happens to be my best friend, is a pilot. We have been married for 24 years, but have known each other since 1st grade. I was a middle school math teacher, but began staying home with the birth of my 4th child. After being home for 8 years, I went back into teaching. I currently teach 4th grade math.