Wednesday, February 20, 2008

MY SON and MICROTIA


When I was pregnant the first 3 times, there were a few "normal" fears. There was always the fear of developing gestational diabetes. There was the fear of the baby having down-syndrome. There was even the fear of cleft palate. It also seemed that with each birth, the next pregnancy brought even more anxiety because I knew what all could go wrong.

One thing we did not fear, nor did we anticipate in ANY way was microtia. In fact, we did not even know what microtia was. This post is the one of what will probably be many over what will probably be a few years. It is not necessarily to educate you, the reader. It is for me. So....here I go.

First, let me tell you what it is. If you have read for awhile, you might remember reading this. Anyway, you can read the entry from wikipedia here. If you look at the little guy on the right, his ear looks a lot like my son's ear.

I don't want to rehash what I have already written about. Actually, as I reread the previous entry that I linked to, I wonder why I continue writing. I don't have a whole lot that is new. I just feel the need.

My son is getting old enough that he will start to notice, as will other children, his "different" ear. A few weeks ago, my hubby came in upset because my oldest told my third, "You have a funny ear." Hmmmmm...quick prayer for wisdom. We had never really discussed the ear with any of my children. It is not that we were/are ashamed. On the contrary, we have no problems telling people about it. It is simply that we forget. There is nothing special that we need to do for him to deal with this...except speak up every now and then.

In the end, we discussed the ear with our oldest. We told him what it was called and what would be done about it in the future. We also stated that, as his oldest brother, HE was the one that would need to jump to the defense of his little brother, should the need ever arise. I pray it doesn't.

My son doesn't notice his own ear. I don't know why he would. I do notice that if he is lying down on his good ear, and I speak, he lifts up and says, "What, Momma?" That is an adaption out of necessity.

We took him to a craniofacial surgeon a few months ago. My son is still too young and too little to have anything done. He will return to the surgeon when he is 6 years old. At that time, we will know when we will do what we will do.

I'm sure that is when I will blog a lot on this topic. I am already nervous about the pain, the cost, my other children, the doctor we choose. Even knowing that this will be for the best, I question putting my child into 3 different surgeries.

I love my son so much. I wish I could spare him any pain, both physical and emotional, that he might have from this. I question the "why" of this. Why did God choose him? What are we supposed to take from this? Could it be that it was just a freak thing? I will probably wonder this for a long time...at least until I feel that something has been learned.

Either way, if or when you ever think about us...or more specifically, about my precious son, please say a little prayer for what he will surely face in his life.

4 comments:

Black Tie Optional said...

ummm... you know I feel your pain. And feel partly responsible for your having to think about it so much lately. I'm sorry if I brought all these feelings and fears to the surface.

I will say that I was pleased to see you didn't tell him or his siblings that "God made him special." I hated it when people would explain away my eye like that. You know? -- when at the same time we were told that all children were special...it seemed empty and we all knew it. I will tell you that despite my recent posts I didn't spend a lifetime worrying about it. And I felt normal most of the time. =-) But there were painful moments. Questions never bothered me.

His brother was right. His ear is different. He knew that already.

The time to be worried is when it bothers him that it's different...and maybe it won't.

But when it comes to facing it well, I'll pray for his future but know that God DID make him special, he gave him a special mother who knew her little friend was different but looked her straight in the eyes and treated her just the same. God chose him for you.

Cammie said...

I remember my cousin dealing with this when we were little. I don't recall her or my aunt ever putting a name to it, though. We all got used to talking on the side of her 'good ear' (her words, not mine). I don't think, to this day, she has ever had corrective surgery. She is now 30+ with 3 kids and doing very well.

Lesli said...

I'm verklempt.

~LL~ said...

Ly....your response brings me to tears. Thank you! I love you!