Saturday, November 07, 2009

NEVER




I NEVER would have considered myself OCD or Type-A or any of those harsh labels that imply a person being uptight and out of control.

Until this year.

I have decided that my stress is.... *sigh*... my own doing. SHHHHHH!!!! Don't let my hubby know that I have just admitted that.

Here's the thing. There are certain things I love. And I love the whole of it. For example, it's not enough that I can cook well. No. I want to sell baked goods, learn to decorate cookies (the fancy ones), and master the cheesecake that makes a person's eyes roll back into his head as he contemplates giving his wife a much needed break for the evening.

I buy cookbooks (about 6 per year). I have cookbooks given to me (about 6 per year). I stalk the baking/kitchen gadgets department of the "box" stores (about 6 times per month). I get monthly magazines (about 3-6 per month). I get emails (at least once a week). ALL these have wonderful creations and concoctions; tips and hints; questions and answers. I love it all.

"So what's the problem," you ask? The problem is that I have neither the time nor the money to do all I want.... no all I NEEEEEED to do.

And, it's not just with cooking. It is with everything.

Except housekeeping. I can't seem to be anal about that one. Hmmmmm... :-/

I am one of THE WORST procrastinators in the nation. Seriously. My Home Management Binder? My Holiday Notebook? Well, they have seen better days. I have read, though, that my "style" is that of a perfectionist. THIS is why I have trouble getting my stuff done. Because I want everything done correctly, NOW, I am somewhat incapacitated and unable to do any of it. Sad, huh? If I can't do it all perfectly, I will do none of it just as perfectly.

I started making my Christmas cards in the middle of September. I have done about 2 hours more work since. I am about 1/2 way done. Why? Because I need plan my "business," my holiday meal, my baking menu, my candy/baked goods gift, my holiday decorations, class parties and the Bon Jovi concert in April. (I know what you are thinking. You think I just pulled that out of thin air. No, my friends, THIS is how my brain works. My thoughts are everything INCLUDING the kitchen sink. And your kitchen sink. And her kitchen sink. And the poor kitchen sink that is sunk into some one's yard with the dead flowers drooping out of it.)

Thanksgiving is 3 weeks away! I haven't planned my menu yet. Because, for some reason, I feel the need to write down, look up, and plan THE SAME, TRADITIONAL MEAL WE HAVE YEAR AFTER YEAR!!!

UGH! WHY DO I DO THAT?

So the question becomes, "What do I do with it?" Well, if admitting I have a problem is the first step toward getting help, then I have a shot at recovery. I would then be able to learn to cut things out of my schedule that may, or may not be absolutely necessary

OR NOT!

3 comments:

Catey said...

There are some times I SWEAR we were separated at birth. This is one of them. It's like you just jumped in my head and pulled all of this out. Except the Bon Jovi in April thing....I just listen to his best when I run now! : )
And hey-that cook book that is (finally) on it's way from me...feel free to just cut out the page with the uber yummy dessert on it and pass the rest of the book on. Less clutter, less guilt, good dessert!

(Also, if we ever get together, I would be willing to share my $3000 cheesecake recipe, that has now also received rave reviews from an NFL player. woot!)

Lisa said...

I am the same exact way. You'll pull it all together and it will be awesome!

Kaira said...

You must be my long lost twin sister... only I don't know your name. ha!

If I can't do it all perfectly, I will do none of it just as perfectly.

That is me. 100% me. I am such a perfectionist that nothing gets done because I can't let go of any control to let anyone else do it because no way will they do it to my standards... so we live in chaos. I hate myself.

I know I have a problem and for the last week my mantra has been "leave it better than you found it". That means, when I go to the bathroom, I leave it better than I found it. I do that everywhere. Eventually, it will be much better than it is today (and this week has seen much improvement around here) and then I'll feel capable of tackling a whole area because it will be more manageable. So, try it - try to leave everything better than you found it... baby steps to a more comfortable home.