Saturday, December 19, 2009

MELANCHOLY?


Well, not really. Just full of thoughts.

I know I've kind of discussed this before, but here it is again, hounding me.

This whole "New Year's" thing.

Don't tell me you haven't considered any New Year's resolutions. I know you have. I always swear not to do them, yet it pops up in the back of my head. WHY? Why do I think about it now - at the beginning of the year, instead of the beginning of the month, or even the week? It sure seems it would be a lot more productive... making a determination, as often as 12 times a year.

No, most people seem to do it.... let me correct that... they seem to advertise it once a year. They seem willing, on January 1st, to suddenly be held accountable for things that they want to change.

I don't know.

I think the reason I start thinking about this a lot is because I, at this time of the year, have time to think, assess and determine.

I guess I have that throughout the year. It's just that I seem to work in little bubbles of time. This last bubble was a big bubble with a lot of stuff crammed into it. Going to Disney World (which I will blog about soon) took 9 days out of my normal Christmas prep time.

Don't get me wrong. I'm SO glad we went. We all had a great time and I hope we get to go again. It was just hard. And, as my hubby so lovingly pointed out, I didn't adjust accordingly. I still did everything, but in a significantly shorter amount of time. I addressed cards on the road (despite motion sickness).

Then, when we got home, I immediately went to a party. And when I say "immediately," I mean just that. We got in, I took a shower, got dressed and was at a party within about 45 minutes... a party that was about 15 minutes away.

The very next day, we had church and 2 parties. However, we weren't completely done with the kids make-up work, AND we were all so tired. We didn't go to church or go to the first party. So I cooked for the 2nd party and hubby worked on homework and washed clothes.

We started the week with SO much to do. Hubby needed to go see his grandfather. I had baking to do... OH THE BAKING!!! AND, hubby flew out Friday, so he had to get stuff done. I had another party Thursday night and a party for my son Friday.

I did a my baking and candy making Wednesday and Thursday. I had to make my list and go shopping on Tuesday. I didn't go Monday because I had a church project that I have been working on for about 4 months. (Will be done in January, thankfully.)

Because I am me, I couldn't change my stuff to fit the shortened time. I just had to shorten my sleep. :( Not too good, really...... that is terribly hard for me to admit.

No, around precious sleep, 4 hours or so at worship team practice/service, and about 4-5 hours at another party, I made: 2 large loaves of cranberry bread, 2 large loaves of pumpkin bread, 6 cups of candied pecans, a huge load of millionaire (which I have to tend to for a solid hour), truffle pops, haystacks, 96 mini-cranberry muffins, 96 mini-pumpkin muffins, fruited white chocolate bark, wrap the teachers gifts, box up the candies to go to the teachers, AND bake 2 dozen shaped sugar cookies for the party the next day.

I don't want pats on the back. I'm tired... just tuckered out. I got into bed Thursday night and my hubby noted that in doing all I love to do, that I didn't enjoy it as much as normal. You see, I usually have the music cranked up and dance around the kitchen while I do this. I didn't enjoy it because it was all crammed together. That makes me sad. Here I sit in a messy house... embarrassingly messy, with a mere 6 days left of my season... my favorite time of the year... and I feel like it just started.

So, what do I do? Well, I try to slow down just a tad. I love being busy, but I don't love missing out on stuff. I miss sitting in front of the fire with my hubby. (Though I did make some homemade hot chocolate.... doesn't get better than chopped up semi-sweet and canned milk and a splash of cream... but it was a quick treat.) I have been squeezing things in... we did roast marshmallows the other night... and the whole time I was stressed: watching the clock and thinking about all that baking that I would be doing and getting the kids into bed.

ALL THIS in the mountains of laundry that litter my house. Yes... it's clean ~ the laundry, not the house. Nope. It's not folded. The table can't be used, because it is being used. The couch has clothes (and kids) on it. The bar has remnants of everything from Thursday night. (My dear hubby worked his tushie off wrapping dozens of millionaire squares and cleaning the kitchen before I attacked after my Thursday night party.)

My hubby comes home Monday night. (Here's hoping he treats me to some Chipotle... but I digress.) Wednesday, we need to go to Oklahoma to see my 102 year old grandmother. Then, we are in Christmas. My parents will come over on Christmas Eve. We will open gifts here. We will eat soups and sandwiches. My hubby and I are going to start a new tradition of reading the Nativity Story from Luke THEN watching "The Nativity Story."

What does this mean? I have today, part of tomorrow, part of Monday and Tuesday. That is all to finish up the candies for friends tomorrow (need to finish some truffle pops, candy some more pecans and make some more white chocolate bark and probably bake some bread), finish up last minute shopping (stockings), pick the soup and sandwich I want, clean the house for company, get the laundry DONE, and reflect on the blessing God has given me ~ think about the fact that God doesn't want me to go through life as fast as I can, with barely the time or energy to see people.

For this new year... this new decade... I resolve to pray more. To trust God more. To continue to learn from His Word.

I resolve to be aware of the changes and stages my children are going through. To remain aware, and become more aware, of the fact that they are growing up and away. To be sensitive to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit in dealing with my children... to make sure that they are armed and trained for the quickly approaching day in which they cannot wait for me to step in and fix the situation.

I resolve to get rid of junk.

"HI! I'm ~LL~ and I am a pack-rat."

"HI, ~LL~!!!"

I am tired of the clutter. Some things that I keep don't get put away... they are just out. I could be a talk show topic.... almost. OK. Not quite. But, still.

I resolve to take a break every now and then. Not long. Thirty minutes will do. Just something where I sit and NOT DO SOMETHING.

In short, I resolve to enjoy my life. My kids. My hubby. My house. My time. My friends.

Here is to enjoyment and to a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

May God bless you richly.

And please, remember that

JESUS IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON!

4 comments:

Joyful_Momma said...

You are one busy lady!! :)

Kaira said...

That exhausted me! You do need to find some quiet time in this favorite season of yours!!!

I can honestly say I haven't given any thought to resolutions this year but I have been diligently working on cleaning my house of "stuff" and being a more orderly housekeeper. If I were to pick a resolution, that would be tops. Well, I'd like to read my Bible more and pray more and I'd love to lose weight... the baby IS 5! :P But, who knows. I'm not starting a list now because I never stick to it.

Blessings to you this Christmas season!

Catey said...

Don't kill yourself girly! this year has been interesting for me as well having spent 10 days in bed recovering from surgery. It sure puts a crimp in your Christmas routine when you are unavailable for 1/3 of it! It has been good for me to step back and *not* be able to do things....helped me prioritize a bit knowing I couldn't do it all this year. (I think. I hope!)
Don't forget to have fun. Your friends will still love you if you don't give them as much as your normally would. and they'll understand! Take some time for you, mix up another cup of cocoa for yourself and sit in front of the fire for a while. It will do you good! Love you!

Lisa said...

I agree with Catey. You need to show yourself some love this season first! Hang tight momma!