Friday, March 28, 2008

RAISING BOYS


If you are familiar with me at all, you know that I have 4 boys. The oldest is in third grade, the youngest is 2. They are the joy of my life. I love being a mom....and yes...I love having ONLY boys.

Don't get me wrong, I am absolutely sure that if I had popped out a child with indoor plumbing, I would have loved her just as much. But there is something that always seems to happen since I have only boys.

When I was preggers with #1, I wanted a boy. I wanted my other kidletts to have an older brother. I saw him as a protector. Responsible. Handsome. Keep in mind that I am an only child, so this, I'm sure, was a dream of mine.....something I would love to have had for myself.

When we had #2, we were congratulated on the production of another boy.

When preggers with #3, we were asked, somewhat snidely (is that a word?) "Awwww. Are you going to try again?"

What? I'm already expecting this one! We want four kids...period. Whatever God blesses us with is OK with us.....seriously. When he was born it just kind of confirmed every one's worst fears (except our own) that YES we had another penis in the family. (LOL...wonder what THAT will do to my rating?)

So...fast forward (not by much) to pregnancy #4. Keep in mind that most sane folk don't go outside the 2.5 children per household. Here is an overview of a not-so-uncommon conversation.

adult - Oh. When are you due? (put excitement here......)

me - In June...right after school ends.

adult - Do you have any other children?

me -Yes....3 boys.

adult - Wow....3 boys? (my kindergartener walks up) Which one is this?

me - My oldest.

adult - Really? Your oldest? Oh....so....um.....3 boys, huh? Are you trying for a girl?

me - Nope. I'm trying for a puppy.

Now, fast forward to after the birth of my fourth BOY. (and even up to now....since I hear this at least once a month.)

adult - Wow...4 kids. You really have your hands full.

me - (my response varies....if the adult has children I say, "You do, too." this is especially great if they only have 1 child. If the adult doesn't have children, I say, "It sure seems like it.")

adult - Are you going to have more children?

(there are a few possible meanings here....first is, "Do you know what causes pregnancy?" "If you do, did you mean to let this happen?" (that is interpreted as "are you going to let this happen again)

And finally, "Are you going to try for a girl?"

To this my response is ALWAYS "I have always said '4
kids,' I just happened to be blessed with 4 boys."

This always halts the conversation.

I don't mean to be tacky....really I don't, but please...I am SO TIRED of people feeling sorry for me that I have 4 smelly boys. (and yes....they smell....it's amazing...if you don't believe me, come over for lunch someday!)

The way I see it, God knew what He was doing. I have a friend who tried for a girl and was quite disappointed at the birth of her 4th boy. She loves him...I have no doubt. But, how sad to be disappointed...even for a moment. I have another friend who has 4 boys....and she is like me. She KNOWS that she is a boy mom. And I think she probably wouldn't know what to do with a girl...same as me!

There may come a time when we adopt. Now pick your jaw up off the floor....it's none of your bees-wax anyway. And if we do, we might take a girl....but right now, I can honestly say that if I were to be blessed with more children, I would be ecstatic if I had more boys.....SMELL AND EVERYTHING.

4 comments:

Mommy Spice said...

I love you ....and I love your BOYS...every one of them!! You my friend are truly blessed!!

Before we adopted our Spicy Girl, I had a dream that I was holding a little blonde headed boy saying, "This is my son..." Will that dream ever come true??? I don't know. I'm perfectly happy with my one little girl, and I would take whomever God chose to give me. I still hold on to that dream, in the hopes that one day I might have that little boy...sigh.

LaLa said...

Found you through Mommy Spice...people really are amazing aren't they? As a white Mama to a beautiful Chinese girl I get dumb questions all the time as you can imagine. ALL children are a gift from God and I have amazing nephews who are soooo much fun!!! I too have know people who were disappointed with the gender of their child ~ how sad!!

tollesons4him said...

I can't believe how hurtful and rude people can be when it comes to children and people having children. I seriously think people need to have a test to become parents. You have to take one to drive but not one to be a parent.
God gave you 4 boys that knew they would be loved and taken care of and I think you are a wonderful parent. I to am an only child and knew I would have more than one child, God blessed us with two beautiful daughters'. I did want a boy and still do but it doesn't take away from my girls. We plan on adopting hopefully one day in the near future. I want an Ethan.....

:)

Miss Paula said...

I have two boys and two girls and a daughter in law!!! Don't listen to the people who "gasp" in horror!!! We will stick together!!!

****A mom with four kiddos and I regard the one I miscarried one I will see in Heaven!!!***