Sunday, October 24, 2010

THAT LONG?

  • Really?
  • I can't believe it has been 2 weeks since I posted.
  • I didn't mean it to take so long.
  • I have been busy.
  • No busier than normal.
  • I think I just needed time to process.
  • This whole surgery thing really has thrown a kink into how I am approaching things.
  • It shouldn't.
  • This is not a life or death thing.
  • It is 3-5 days of stuff that isn't normal.
  • But, mentally?
  • I feel beat down.
  • I'm nervous.
  • To say, "I am scared," is not true.
  • I'm not
  • I am out of sorts.
  • My thoughts are muddled.
  • Arranging for the care of the other three.
  • Notes to teachers about alternate pick-up arrangements.
  • Wondering what they will be going through.
  • Not being able to talk over their days.
  • Laundry piling up.
  • The money situation.
  • Lunches?
  • Shoot! Lunches.
  • I had forgotten that.
  • Until yesterday.
  • My boys pack a lunch.
  • Maybe we can score a PB & J from another kitchen.
  • Haircut.
  • My 3rd will have that part of his head shaved.
  • Might as well do the whole thing.
  • KNOWING that God is all over this.
  • Wanting to feel it a bit more.
  • I forgot to do something last week.
  • Understandable.
  • I guess.
  • I was "criticized" for doing so.
  • Thanks.
  • That helps. :-(
  • The lists.
  • Oh, the lists.
  • Care package for my little hospital patient.
  • Batteries for the camera.
  • Computer to journal as much as I can while this is fresh.
  • My Bible.
  • Lunches.
  • Can't forget lunches again.
  • Getting clothes to our care-providers for our other boys.
  • Don't forget the email this week.
  • Wanting somebody.... ANYBODY.... to feel what I feel.
  • Anybody?
  • Not to be mean.
  • Just to empathize.
  • I do have DH.
  • But, he is out right now.
  • He WILL be back in time.
  • He is taking extra days.
  • Thank you, God, that he has those days to take.
  • DS #3 is excited.
  • No fear there.
  • Thankfully.
  • Yes, he will get to go trick-or-treating.
  • If I have to carry him to the door.
  • Maybe Iron Man won't wear his mask one night.

3 comments:

Cammie said...

~LL,

I TOTALLY get what youre going thru...well, mostly...

My boy was born with craniosynostosis (no soft spot). He had surgery at 5 months and again at 5 years. I was not scared. He had the best doctors EVER...and of course, the Great Physician. I do remember not being able to have a complete thought. I do remember wondering what to do about his sweet little shaved head (we shaved it entirely), I do remember taking a TON of things to do in the waiting room during the surgery...just to keep my mind off of what I could not control...I remember.

Please know that I will be praying for you. Blessings, Dear Friend.

Anonymous said...

Hang in there girl. Kids are so resilient. He'll be just fine before you know it. Your decision is yours and David's and it's made with lots of thought and prayer so you should feel positive that God gave you the insight to do the right thing. Blessings,

Gaby

Lisa said...

I know exactly where you are. Prayers that you all make it through this in a content way.