REGRET

I now know how a ref, who makes a bad call, feels.

I did that this past Saturday.

Or, at least I think I did.

This past weekend was our District competition for JBQ. And IT WAS BRUTAL!

I sometimes quiz master. This weekend, I wasn't supposed to, "unless absolutely necessary."

Well, it came down to that.

I had been warned, several years ago, before I started to QM, that I needed a tough skin. That I would, most likely, make someone mad, and/or hurt the feelings of a child. I can handle that.

I can handle that.

SO.....with that in mind, put yourself into a game.....a very *high stakes* game.

A game that involved my team.

Now, when I QM for my team, I want it to be clear to all that I WILL NOT show favoritism. Perhaps I tried too hard.

There was a question....a 30-point question. The other team got to it first. It was a long quote. Quotes must be exact. This child has a speech issue....well, no. Not really. He just does not speak clearly. However, I am familiar with this quizzer, so I am prepared.

There was a word that ends with an "s." 

I heard it.

No I didn't.

Maybe I did.

.... HEY....go to my judges. That is what they are there for. I go to judges. They both vote FOR the quizzer....that it is correct.

We go on. *My* quizzers are spittin' mad because they heard what I heard.....or didn't.....or might have.

We lost that round.

You guessed it.

We would have won, had I ruled differently.

:-(

On the one hand, had it been 2 other teams, I wouldn't have given it another thought. But, it wasn't 2 other teams. One of them was MY team.

I have spent many hours, since then, physically sick about it all.

Did it make a difference in who is going to Regionals?

No....

THANK GOD!

I was so upset, immediately after, that I was crying and ended up NOT QM'ing for the rest of the day.

Those who know me know that I don't cry so easily over such a thing. I know the rules. AND, if I do say so myself, given all the other QMs, I am probably in the top 10% of the *better* QMs.

Before you judge me for shirking my responsibilities, let me explain.

First, I was not supposed to QM that day. I was supposed to travel with my team as "page-turner." (Without going into a lot of detail: it is my job to find the question, as it is being answered, and make sure the quotes are answered exactly. You can't argue it, if you can't prove it.) During that horrible round, I fully expected our coach to throw out a judges' ruling and ask for reconsideration based on the fact that he ALSO did not hear an "s" where he should have.....I even paused as long as possible. Then, the chance was gone. When the quizzers asked him why he didn't call it....he said he couldn't get to the question in time.

 :-(

After tearfully talking to a friend, she gently reminded me that I was supposed to travel with the team that day, and NOT QM. SO....I went to the powers that be and said, "I really need to be with my team." Because, honestly, if I hadn't heard the "s," (as a page-turner) I would have been on it and been able to back it up.

Hind-sight is 20/20. The more I think about it.....the more I torment myself with it....I think I messed up.

Everyone tells me what I would tell someone else in this same situation. The coach. My husband. Even my son (who would have been the one to answer that question correctly, if it would have been thrown to him) have said that they understand.

I have been told:

You have to make a split-second call. That is hard.

Did you change the way you QM because it was our team?

Do you QM differently for us than for other teams?

Did you follow protocol?

I told my husband that the thing that bothers me more than anything is that I feel like I choked.....over-analyzed.....and didn't go with my gut.

I will get over it....eventually. But, I don't want to forget. Wait. I DO want to forget, because it still makes me feel horrible. I hope it makes me a better QM.

TIRED

I get tired of starting my blogs the same way. I have been *meaning* to write for weeks....WEEKS! But, things keep getting into the way.

Nothing bad, mind you. Just the busyness of life.

SO....instead of waxing eloquent on the seriousness of life, let me just tell you some of what is going on.....not really a bullet blog (I just did that), but more of a patchwork, to copy the term from the whack-a-doodle over yonder.

Wow....January 23 was my last blog. So much for my "once to twice-a-week" blogging. LOL! 

I have been subbing. I have also been teaching CPR. Not too terribly much, in either case, but enough for a little extra.

My project wish list has been slow going. My reading has just been cruddy. I haven't had, or taken, the time to do as much as I usually like to do. I am still in the middle of the same 5 or 6 books, without being much closer to finishing them. *sigh* Disappointing, but there are worse things.

We HAVE started Spring Cleaning. I have a list (only about 3-4 pages) of stuff to do. I'm a list maker. Most of what is on the list does not need to be written down. For some reason, it makes me feel like I have accomplished something big when I get to put a line across a "to-do" item. 

One of the last big things was going through the linens. Too. Many. Sheets! And, comforters. And, pillow cases. And, afghans. And, blankets.

We were able to donate a garbage bag (lawn and garden sized) full of sheets, an electric blanket and comforters. (Yes.....more than one comforter.) That area looks a lot nicer. During that time, I was able to finag... ask DH to vacuum out the hot-water heater closet......because I was *skeered.*

We started to clean out the garage last week. We thought it would be a 3-day job. Well, realistically, I think it is 2 weeks. That is no lie. I started going through my teaching *corner.* I didn't even get 1/3 the way through....I don't know how much I threw away, but I donated 5 boxes of kids books, a box of math manipulatives, compasses and protractors, and a trash bag full of posters. It was hard going through, and parting with it, but it feels good, too. 

We are on our Spring Break right now. The hub is out with the older 2 shooting guns. The youngers are playing games. Being the first official day of our break, I am letting them play for however long they want. It's kind of nice for me, too, as I am piddling around...no real tasks to accomplish. (Though, I have gotten quite a bit of work done.)

My 2nd son has been doing great in JBQ. He has (in the last few weeks) earned his Master Quoter Award and Almost Impossible Award. There is only 1 more award for him to earn, but now, we have to focus on competition....so, no more practicing for the award until AFTER we are done.

Hubby still isn't released to work. *sigh* I love having him home. But, now it is a money issue. Having your pay cut by 40% is tough. However, we are OK....just minor adjustments here and there.

My Christmas tree is down....in case you were wondering. It came down the beginning of February. I am, though, STILL listening to Christmas music and checking my daily countdown....daily. ;-)  I haven't been as involved in the Rudolph Club as I want, but I usually start up right about now. I anticipate that this week, I will be looking into it. 

Our Birthday Bash was fabulous. We ate Mexican food, then rented a limo to take us to a comedy club. Tons of fun!

This week, the boys and hub are building garden boxes for me. We are having dirt hauled in. Hopefully, I will plant soon. It just depends on the weather. Is it warm enough? I might need to wait a week or two.....I don't know. Maybe I should talk to the farmers. (DH's grandparents.) 

Well, I should go. There are a few things I want to get accomplished today. The house is relatively clean, which is nice. We had company for dinner last night....so I'm riding that wave of "it got cleaned yesterday, try not to mess it up too soon." LOL!

I hope y'all still read. Leave me a comment. Let me know you're here.

BULLETS....BUT NOT FOR GUNS

• I thought it would be a bit different.
• Sometimes I just need to write THINGS.
• ...but not be so coherent about it.
• The school shootings are getting out of hand.
• Satan is on the prowl.
• It disgusts me.
• barry o. disgusts me.
• Trolls disgust me.
• Though my last troll made me laugh.
• He said I was addicted to fast food and sweet tea.
• BAHAHAHAHA!
• I'm watching "Hunger Games" as I type.
• Disturbing film, that.
• My Christmas tree is still up.
• Don't judge.
• BUT, if you were to ask yourself, "Who would still have their tree up?"
• You would say "~LL~."
• My hubby is still home.
• Still.
• I do love it, though.
• Until February 3rd.
• When we take a pay cut.
• Because, he will STILL be home.
• He will be home for my birthday.
• He will be home for HIS birthday.
• I don't know that we have ever had that.
• Well, not in the last several years, anyway.
• I'm trying to renew my teaching certificate.
• Might be hard, as I don't have any CE hours.
• I need 150.
• My Project List is still slow.
• But, I'm working on it.
• Do you see my side bar?
• I put my book list there.
• I added more. 
• I will strike through them when they are read.
• It is lofty.
• I predict reading half that.
• But, I will try.
• I hope to increase my readership.
• Without the trolls.
• I should go. 
• Good night.

MONDAY MUSINGS

Today.

Today is Martin Luther King Day.

Today is barry's 2nd inauguration.

Today, I am cleaning house.

I hate politics....really, I do. The only Presidents I have liked (since I have been old enough to know are Reagan, Bush 41, and W. Out of those, I have only ever voted for 1 sitting Prez.....W. (I was too young for the other 2.)

Even when it is someone I like, I don't enjoy watching the committees, the ads, the debates, the speeches.....none of that. NOR do I like to watch the other stuff.....like inaugurations.

My *boycott* for today has nothing to do with the fact that the human taking office is, in my opinion, lower than the ground I walk on. I wouldn't watch it.....period.

It bores me.

I know....it's unAmerican.

They bore me....AND, they make me mad. They make me mad when I hear what I know to be lies. They make me mad when I see the hypocrisy of the others in attendance. They make me mad when I see how much money they are spending on the pomp and circumstance.....and the *shovel ready* jobs they promoted for years are still just a promotion.

He makes me ill. I have nothing....NOTHING....nice to say about the administration. And, that makes me sad. I pray for him because I am supposed to.....but man.....it is hard to do even that.

SO, with that being said.....I will go do laundry.

NOT SO HOT....

(Charlotte Brontë)

SO.....I'm not doing so good at my Project Wish List. (See the previous post.)

I just reread that part....hoping to report some accomplishments. WELL.....here it is. I have pulled a lot of gluten, but not all. I have bought quite a bit organic, but not all. (Fact is, not EVERY thing needs to be totally organic....I am still in the research phase of it.)

I obviously haven't posted 1-2 times per week. My FTU is dirty. I have only had 2....or is it 3 CFASTs this year. We have....maybe.....probably not so much.....never mind.

I DID start reading the "Chronicles of Narnia" with the boys. I have the boxed set in my *classroom library.* I went through it....can only find 5 of the 7 books. We are missing #1 and #4. That's OK....I wanted the set in 1 book, anyway. SO, we ordered it. We try to read a chapter per night. The kids love it.

We have also started a different devotional in the morning. And, a Bible reading/study (as a family) each night. (Go here for a wonderful reading plan for kids.) Also, my 3rd is REALLY thirsty for Bible knowledge. So, we read a Bible story each night. (His Bible, on the first page of each book, has a list of the stories in that book, along with the appropriate chapter/verses. We read 1 per night.)

On my reading list, I haven't completed anything. However, I am currently reading: "The Chronicles of Narnia," the "Bible," "The Other Queen," "The Annals of the World," "Wheat Belly," "Little Women," AND "Decision Points." Yes.....at the same time.

I should stop that.

OK....."The Chronicles" will be ongoing. I will finish "The Other Queen."

I got an iPad for Christmas. I love it. I love putting books on there that I want to read. BUT, nothing....NOTHING compares to holding a book in my hands. Fun, for me, is going to the library and just looking at books. The thrill of finding a deliciously fat book......

Are you a reader? I'm always looking/listening for new authors/genres I haven't considered.

What are your favorite titles?

Who is your favorite author?

What is your favorite genre?

Mine? Well, I have several titles that I like. Here are some that I have REALLY enjoyed in the past. (I have many, so I can't list them all. When you list some, I might think, "Oh, YEAH! That one, too!")

I love the "Clan of the Cave Bear" series.....except the last book. :-( It was.....a disappointment.

I love LOVE LOVE "Jane Eyre."

Another fave is "Gone With the Wind." I was disappointed in the sequel...of course, it wasn't written by Margaret Mitchell.....if it had been Rhett would have NEVER taken Scarlett back. (If you love the movie, PLEASE read the book. It is nice and fat....the movie, though epic for the time, does not do the book justice.)

I enjoy Amish fiction.

There are too many authors to list them all, though the authors of the above mentioned books are some of them. But, please include Beverly Lewis, Tracie Peterson, Philippa Gregory, Wanda Brunstetter......

(OH MY.......I was looking for something, and came across a list (again) of classics. My heart just about jumped out of my chest.....there simply isn't enough time, in my life, to read all of the great literature.)

I enjoy the "Bible." My favorite book is probably the Gospel of John.

And, Luke.....I like Luke.

AND, Romans.

Revelation, Psalms, Esther......OK..... I may do a post on favorite verses someday.

My favorite genres are period novels and fantasy fiction. THOUGH.....I do not like it too gory. I do not like mysteries/murder mysteries.....and romances? UGH.....unless it is like "Gone With the Wind," or "Jane Eyre."

I look forward to knowing what you like to read. Please tell me.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

So, I go and read other people's blogs....see their *aspirations* and their *resolutions.* It makes me....a tad bit anxious.

I feel a bit envious at the obvious thought they have put into such wonderful plans. I also feel like I'm about to pop....like I have to do the same thing. 

If you go back to each *beginning of January,* for the past several years, you will see that I have problems with New Year's resolutions. I always have. Yet, there is something that makes me want.....no, makes me NEED to make them.

And, I do....every year.

And, I gripe about it....every year.

And, I mentally tell myself, "NO MORE!"....

Every year.

So, where does that leave us? 

Yep....time for a new list. 

I think my problem is with the word "resolution." It seems so official. So adult. So....final. And, it seems the ONLY connotations are negative. It seems resolutions are always failed, abandoned, incomplete. 

MY LIST is going to be better. :-) It is my project wish list. 

It aggravates me when so many wait until January 1 to start a newer and better and more healthy habit. I mean shouldn't it be done ASAP? 

(As I type this, my sweet DH has reminded me that I started one of my new things just today....BUT, the reason is: I couldn't start during the holidays.....you'll understand why, in a bit.)

SO....without further ado, I will just list a bunch of projects that I want to accomplish. Some are habits that I want to develop. Some are just 1 time things that I keep pushing off because something more fun comes along.  Whatever the reason, no matter the methods, here is my:

PROJECT WISH LIST

(THESE ARE LISTED IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER)

I will send a gift (of my choosing) to a friend, once a month. (Not the same friend....different friends.)

I will call my grandmother once a month. (Don't judge.)

I will clean out my FTU at least every other week. (We're talking vacuuming, wiping down, emptying the buffet line in the back.....again....don't judge.)

WE (dragging in DH) will get the garage cleaned out. (That, right there, could be my entire list....and I would feel accomplished by doing it.)

I will donate my teacher stuff to some teacher friends. (I can't begin to tell you the number of brand new wooden pencils I just came across.....not to mention, the books! And colored paper. And chalk....well....who uses chalk anymore, but still...you get the idea.)

I will start going on weekl.....no.....month.....no.....I will take the kids on a walk a few times, over the next year.

I will take each son on a 1-on-1 date, quarterly.

I will go to the dentist.....well...I will at least take my kids.

I will have my family on a gluten-free lifestyle

I will have my family mostly organic.

I will paint my hall.....as soon as DH has recovered from his surgery....because....I. Don't paint. 

I will make my Christmas cards....much to my DH's chagrin. 

I will complete the Christmas crafts that I bought stuff for....last year.....no, wait.....in 2011. 

I will host a full luncheon, at the school, for 2nd grade teachers, 3rd grade teachers, and 6th grade teachers. 

I will help my hubby take the boys camping.....(I will make sure the first aid kit is well-stocked and that they have a new can of mosquito repellant.) 

I will conquer the closet(s).

All of them. 

*sigh*

I will re-task the night stand (that is ugly), and relocate it (to the garage, or fireplace) and move the other, PRETTY night stand out from under the printer and put it by me....in it's proper station. 

I will learn to crochet. 

I will do, at least 3 loads of laundry, every 2 days.....perpetually. *sigh*

I will blog at least once, hopefully twice, a week. 

I will read with my children, The Chronicles of Narnia. (I just love that series.)

I will earn my Master Seal in JBQ.

I will earn my 101 Award in JBQ.

I will try at least 1 new recipe a week.

I (we) will eat out less.

I will *sniff* try to cut back on CFAST.

maybe

I will reprint the boys' chore charts.

I will sort through ALL the boys' clothes, and get some things sorted, tossed, or donated. 

I will have a garden.

I will certify my 2 oldest boys in first aid and CPR. 

(Maybe there is more....)

OK.....my reading list (I hope)

The Bible (always)
Wheat Belly
The Chronicles of Narnia (again)
The Other Queen
The Red Queen
The White Queen 
The Constant Princess
The Queen's Fool
The Other Queen
Heroes, Gods and Monsters of the Greek Myths
The Hobbit (again)
The Annals of the World
Wicked
To Kill a Mockingbird (again)
Dracula
Little Women (again)
Pride and Prejudice (again)
Decision Points
Nicholas Nickleby
Bleak House
Anna Karenina

and, that is all.....for now.

If you still read, please leave me a comment (on my blog)

See you SOON!

P.S. I am not proofing this tonight. Please forgive the grammatical and spelling errors.

*sigh* I KNOW

I am not going to make a lot of excuses. My only reason for not being here is overall busyness and distraction. In fact, I have been so busy that I started this post about a month before Thanksgiving....which occurred YESTERDAY.

The thing I want to talk about today has to do with my 3rd son. You know about the microtia. If you don't remember, please do a search in my bar. I have LOTS of stuff on it.

Well, on August 27, my baby went into another surgery. This one was to put magnets into his noggin. He went into the hospital, where they cut a slit above his ear. They inserted, and counter-sunk, some magnets, about the size of hearing aid batteries. Once that was healed up (after about 4 weeks) we went in for the hearing aid.

This thing is amazing. It has a magnet on the back of the hearing aid. He basically just sticks it to his head. There are 5 levels of magnet. He generally wears a 2. They are numbered 1-5 with a 5 being the strongest.

When he first started wearing it, we had to start at 4 hours. Then, we increased by a few minutes each day. The reason is he had to it that way was to toughen up his skin. After about 5 days, we noticed a blister that was oozy. We just treated it with peroxide, let it dry up, then started with low-time each day. Now? He can wear it all day.

The hearing aid brings his hearing up to as good as, if not better than, his other ear. It has changed him. He loves it...as do we. 

I am SO happy for my boy. 

Head shaved and magnets put in. (His ear looks pretty good, huh? Especially considering this wasn't "from the factory.")

That whole section was shaved. You can see the scar at the very top. 

Getting *fitted* for his hearing aid.

Tweaking the hearing aid through the computer.

The actual hearing aid stuck to his head.

My husband is holding the hearing aid. That black, oblong piece is a magnet. It sticks to the magnets in his head. 

SO....we finally got the hearing aid. He was very excited, but as he has perfect hearing in the other ear, we didn't really know what difference it would make.  We went to visit my parents. DS went outside and was sitting on the swing. I went out and asked him what he was doing.

He said, "Just listening."

I said, "Is there anything you can hear that you haven't heard before?"

He said, "The crunching of leaves."

Boy....talk about water-works! That made this momma tear up like crazy.


Well, that is the most exciting thing that has happened to us lately. If you still read, I apologize for my absence. Please check in every now and then. I intend to *pick back up."