CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?

This past May, we enjoyed a year that my 3rd son has had his ear repaired.  

This is my son's ear, just 1 year and 3 months after his last surgery.

Some of you have been keeping up with what has gone on for the last several years. If not, here are the related articles I have posted.

MY LOVE....MY SON

MY SON AND MICROTIA

SUPERMAN

AT WHAT PRICE?

THE DAY BEFORE

SURGERY

MICROTIA - SURGERY #2

THIRD SURGERY

*TAP TAP TAP*

As you can see, we have put a lot of time, heart, blood, sweat, tears, and money into this ear.

One thing I haven't really focused on is the hearing portion of this journey. 

My son's actual diagnosis is....well, WAS "Microtia Atresia." Microtia meaning "little ear," and atresia meaning the canal is closed. Basically, it means that he has little to no hearing in "Verne."

When he was a baby, we had a test done. This told us that he did, in fact, have hearing in that ear, but we were told it was muffled. He could HEAR a noise, but he couldn't make out the actual sound. Kind of like having your finger jammed in your ear. You might hear that someone is speaking, but you have no idea what they are saying.

YES, it was a big concern. Until he was about 4....when we started having him evaluated for any speech and language development delays. There were none. Because of that, and because he was adapting, we were told that the cosmetic correction was the only thing we really had to worry about.

Now, before you think we were preventing my son from hearing, know that his other ear is perfect, in every way. To correct the malformed ear meant drilling an ear canal. DRILLING!!! INTO HIS SKULL!!! And then, if the doctor moved even a millimeter, a facial nerve could be nicked, thus paralyzing his face. We decided that that was not a decision that we, as parents, could make. 

Between the ages of 4 and 8, when he finished up with his reconstructive surgeries, there was never any question that we would be *done* with surgery #3. 

Until this past May. Suddenly, my son complained of hearing loss in his good ear. NOT. GOOD. I mean, he is already down one ear. We can't lose another, and develop properly. So, we started aggressively trying to figure out the reason for the hearing loss, what it means, and what we do to correct it.

All his life, we have been advocates for good ear-health. :-) He never had an ear infection. We didn't want to have damaged the only ear drum we were given. And now? Fluid. In his ear. No fever. No cold. No sniffles. 

First stop - pediatrician. The ear drum would not move. There was obvious fluid, but it wasn't infected. We put him on antibiotics, just in case it was about to flare up.

Second stop - just days later - an audiologist. Since it wasn't an infection, and he was on antibiotics, we wanted to see what improvements were made. They decided to test Verne....about 80 decibels. That......is not acceptable. BUT, thank God we have another ear....we just have to get it working again.

Third stop - ENT. Nope. No throat issues. No sinus issues. No ear issues....well, except the obvious, I mean. But, he did want to see what, exactly, was in our son's head. He prescribed a stronger antibiotic and suggested an allergist.

Fourth stop - allergist. This is a wonderful man, whom we have seen before, when we had asthma issues. To date, my son has never had allergies, yet the fluid persisted. We *had* to figure out what was going on. 

Fifth stop - CT scan. He was a champ and stayed really still. He knew he might have to be sedated if he wiggled. And, he HATES *goofy juice.*

Sixth stop - BACK to the allergist. There was nothing obvious the last visit, so a *full-panel* was ordered. Everything came back negative. Good, but left us wondering.

Meantime, the antibiotics did their job and cleared up the fluid.

Seventh stop - BACK to the ENT. We got the results of the CT scan.

What does it all mean? 

It means that God works in mysterious ways. 

It means that God ISN'T FINISHED WITH MY SON! 

PRAISE THE LORD!!!

Because of this, in the various areas of testing, we found out that he DOES have all the bones in his ear. He has good *space.* Everything is just where it needs to be....well, except an ear drum. 

So now, we wait. 

We wait a WHOLE WEEK for my son to go get set up for a bone-conduction hearing aid. 

WE ARE STOKED!!!!

My baby is going to have his other ear brought up to 30 decibels. At 30 decibels, people don't generally need a hearing aid. It means that he will have perfectly normal, and acceptable, hearing. It means that instead of only being able to focus on the sound he sees, that he will be able to hear "in-stereo."

Moral of the story? If you love God, He will make sure that you aren't left behind. We were happy with what we have been given so far. But, God has SO MUCH MORE planned for us. I'm SO glad He didn't give up on us, while we were being lazy and not listening. 

What a loving Father He is. 

MY SON and MICROTIA

When I was pregnant the first 3 times, there were a few "normal" fears. There was always the fear of developing gestational diabetes. There was the fear of the baby having down-syndrome. There was even the fear of cleft palate. It also seemed that with each birth, the next pregnancy brought even more anxiety because I knew what all could go wrong.

One thing we did not fear, nor did we anticipate in ANY way was microtia. In fact, we did not even know what microtia was. This post is the one of what will probably be many over what will probably be a few years. It is not necessarily to educate you, the reader. It is for me. So....here I go.

First, let me tell you what it is. If you have read for awhile, you might remember reading this. Anyway, you can read the entry from wikipedia here. If you look at the little guy on the right, his ear looks a lot like my son's ear.

I don't want to rehash what I have already written about. Actually, as I reread the previous entry that I linked to, I wonder why I continue writing. I don't have a whole lot that is new. I just feel the need.

My son is getting old enough that he will start to notice, as will other children, his "different" ear. A few weeks ago, my hubby came in upset because my oldest told my third, "You have a funny ear." Hmmmmm...quick prayer for wisdom. We had never really discussed the ear with any of my children. It is not that we were/are ashamed. On the contrary, we have no problems telling people about it. It is simply that we forget. There is nothing special that we need to do for him to deal with this...except speak up every now and then.

In the end, we discussed the ear with our oldest. We told him what it was called and what would be done about it in the future. We also stated that, as his oldest brother, HE was the one that would need to jump to the defense of his little brother, should the need ever arise. I pray it doesn't.

My son doesn't notice his own ear. I don't know why he would. I do notice that if he is lying down on his good ear, and I speak, he lifts up and says, "What, Momma?" That is an adaption out of necessity.

We took him to a craniofacial surgeon a few months ago. My son is still too young and too little to have anything done. He will return to the surgeon when he is 6 years old. At that time, we will know when we will do what we will do.

I'm sure that is when I will blog a lot on this topic. I am already nervous about the pain, the cost, my other children, the doctor we choose. Even knowing that this will be for the best, I question putting my child into 3 different surgeries.

I love my son so much. I wish I could spare him any pain, both physical and emotional, that he might have from this. I question the "why" of this. Why did God choose him? What are we supposed to take from this? Could it be that it was just a freak thing? I will probably wonder this for a long time...at least until I feel that something has been learned.

Either way, if or when you ever think about us...or more specifically, about my precious son, please say a little prayer for what he will surely face in his life.

*sigh* I KNOW

I am not going to make a lot of excuses. My only reason for not being here is overall busyness and distraction. In fact, I have been so busy that I started this post about a month before Thanksgiving....which occurred YESTERDAY.

The thing I want to talk about today has to do with my 3rd son. You know about the microtia. If you don't remember, please do a search in my bar. I have LOTS of stuff on it.

Well, on August 27, my baby went into another surgery. This one was to put magnets into his noggin. He went into the hospital, where they cut a slit above his ear. They inserted, and counter-sunk, some magnets, about the size of hearing aid batteries. Once that was healed up (after about 4 weeks) we went in for the hearing aid.

This thing is amazing. It has a magnet on the back of the hearing aid. He basically just sticks it to his head. There are 5 levels of magnet. He generally wears a 2. They are numbered 1-5 with a 5 being the strongest.

When he first started wearing it, we had to start at 4 hours. Then, we increased by a few minutes each day. The reason is he had to it that way was to toughen up his skin. After about 5 days, we noticed a blister that was oozy. We just treated it with peroxide, let it dry up, then started with low-time each day. Now? He can wear it all day.

The hearing aid brings his hearing up to as good as, if not better than, his other ear. It has changed him. He loves it...as do we. 

I am SO happy for my boy. 

Head shaved and magnets put in. (His ear looks pretty good, huh? Especially considering this wasn't "from the factory.")

That whole section was shaved. You can see the scar at the very top. 

Getting *fitted* for his hearing aid.

Tweaking the hearing aid through the computer.

The actual hearing aid stuck to his head.

My husband is holding the hearing aid. That black, oblong piece is a magnet. It sticks to the magnets in his head. 

SO....we finally got the hearing aid. He was very excited, but as he has perfect hearing in the other ear, we didn't really know what difference it would make.  We went to visit my parents. DS went outside and was sitting on the swing. I went out and asked him what he was doing.

He said, "Just listening."

I said, "Is there anything you can hear that you haven't heard before?"

He said, "The crunching of leaves."

Boy....talk about water-works! That made this momma tear up like crazy.


Well, that is the most exciting thing that has happened to us lately. If you still read, I apologize for my absence. Please check in every now and then. I intend to *pick back up."

YES, I KNOW!

I'm not doing any better at blogging than I was about 6 months ago. But, this time, I have an excuse. I have just been busy. I haven't read the blogs as much as I normally do. Nor, have I been on Facebook as much as normal.

I have been subbing. I'm thinking of looking into a secondary certificate. I have my first through eighth grade certification... and have a major love for 7th grade. But, I have subbed in the high school and I LOVE THOSE KIDS. Oh, my.... after 2 days with them, I'm thinking of changing my certification.

I still want to stay home next year. I want my youngest son's first year before I go teach. That will give me time to sub a bit more and really decide if I want to pursue a secondary certificate.

My hubby has been fighting ear infections for the last several months. Not a good thing for a pilot to deal with. Well, he suddenly started having problems with his ear lobe area. He went to an ENT AGAIN.... staff. Infection. Not office staff. HE HAS A STAFF INFECTION. That should be enough, right? Well, it just doesn't look like it is going to be cleared up by Wednesday, when he is supposed to fly out. The problem is that his head set has ear plug dobber-ma-jigs that go IN his ear. His ear is so swollen and painful that he just won't be able to wear them. :( After an 8 day tour, I would love for him to have an extra day off.... but not at the expense of his sick days.

BECAUSE, this summer, we might start working on #3's ear. (To read up on that, just search my blog for the word "microtia.") VERY. STRESSFUL.

I still have to blog about Disney.

I have a good friend who is about to pop out a baby. I need to help her, so I might be scarce... well, no more than usual, I guess.

Our JBQ is ramping up to post-season play. That means our study time will increase. Right now, we study 3 kids, each night for 20-30 minutes. EACH. ONE-ON-ONE. Yes.... 1 to 1.5 hours a night. On top of homework, showers, baths, laundry, dinners, lessons, bed times. My oldest will be studying about 40 minutes each night. Until March, my 2nd will be studying about 40 minutes per night. And my third? About the same.

I am having trouble finding a sitter. I'm very picky about my kids. I can't get into details because I don't know who all reads...

OK... I need to go. I'll BBL

PRIORITIES

It's not that this blog isn't a priority....it's just that it is not as high up on the list.

I DO have a lot going on. Some I can only vaguely refer to, at this point in time. I figure....it *has* been 2 weeks since my last entry. Not as good as I had hoped, but more frequent than what I was doing last year.

Today is my 3rd son's birthday. If you look in my archives, on or around April 21st, you can see stuff on him. OR, go to the search bar and search up *microtia.* 

Yep.....that's him.

My oldest son has inherited my Type-A tendencies. Let me go ahead and extend my apologies to his future wife, now. :-/

I need to start working on some Christmas stuff....NOW......

For a few reasons....

The least of which is that I'm probably about to go to work. 

Yeah......

Not sure how I feel about it. I could be a total *you-know-what* about it all. But, the fact is, we need the money. 

We need to get some debt paid off.

We need a new roof.

And a new garage door.

And new vehicles.

A new house.

Things that are possible to get....by going even deeper into debt.

So, here's the thing....if you are living on what you have, and you need quite a bit of money rather quickly....well, doesn't it make sense to go into your career-field? Yeah....it's an obvious answer. 

It isn't a surprise to us, by any means....I just love staying home. 

Truly, I do. 

I love being room-mom to everyone I can.

I love going on impromptu Chipotle and Lobby Therapy runs with my friends.

I love spending 2 days each week, from September - January baking breads and other yummies.

I love my *work clothes* being capris and flip-flops.

I love being able to go to the grocery store on Monday morning.

That is all going to go away, unless of course, I do NOT get a job.

I will get a job. 

I feel it.

SO....that being said....I DO look forward to going back to teaching. I DO love teaching. And, it will be OK. It will be good for everyone.....except the pantry.

I shudder to think the kind of blech we will be eating because I will be grading papers instead of cooking something fabulous.

And, that is totally something I know how to do.

Cook something fabulous.

MICROTIA - SURGERY #2

February 1st brought the 2nd surgery for my sweet boy. If you click on some of these links, you will kind of get an idea of our journey:

My Love - My Son

My Son and Microtia

Superman

Today is a Big Day

At What Price

The Day Before

Surgery

The day before my hubby and 3rd son made the trek to the hospital to begin all of the pre-op stuff. Along with their departure came weather. Bad. Weather.

I had debated dropping off my 3 other children at school, then going to the hospital to sit through the surgery and recover and then return to pick up the boys. I never got the chance as icy conditions closed every school in the metroplex.

All that aside, let me give you a run down of what went down.

The boys left about 1:30 Monday afternoon. They went for pictures of #3s ears. He had vitals taken. And then the surgeon, and his Fellow, checked out the ear and gave last minute instructions.

After, Daddy and son ate at the food court of the area mall. I don't know. I would have chosen something different, however, I'm sure Daddy did what #3 wanted. Then, they went to see "Gulliver's Travels" and had even more junk food.

They stayed in a hotel overnight, as they had to check in at 6 in the morning. Good thing, too, as the ice on the roads would have prevented the trip, in all likelihood.

Number 3 went back right away to have more vitals taken, change into his gown, and drink his "goofy juice." After watching a bit of a movie, the goofy juice kicked in and #3 was wheeled to surgery.

Unlike the last 5 hour surgery, this one only took about 3 hours. He still had a little nausea coming out of the anesthesia, but he was able to eat a bit sooner than last time. They braved the weather and made it home about 5:00 p.m.

SO, what did they do? Well, they actually cut around the cartilage and lifted his ear off his head. So, think about that.... when it's lifted, on the back of the ear you have bare cartilage and where the ear was, you have skull. To cover that, the surgeons performed a skin-graft. The skin came from his heiney-bo.... and that is the most uncomfortable for him right now. It's just itchy.

Before we get to the pictures, let's talk money.

The surgeries.... well, I don't even know how much all 3 will cost, but so far, we have been billed about $100,000. At this point, we have paid about $500 for the first. I don't know how typical this is, nor do I know what will be our final out-of-pocket for the first surgery. Our surgeon's people and the insurance company are still working on things.

For the 2nd surgery, we have not received a bill yet, but we have paid about $3,000.

We are praying, of course. Praying that we get it all worked out. Praying that we don't have to pay NEAR what has already been billed, much less what will be billed. But, you know what? God provides. There has never been any question as to whether, or not, we would do this.

GOD PROVIDES!!!

Now, on to the pictures:

In the waiting room awaiting pre-op

Picture time

This place has fabulous cupcakes

Even if it's not the healthiest, he DESERVED a chocolate cupcake AND a DP

Where the surgeries are taking place

On the giant caterpillar

Weighing in

Tall enough?

Taking vitals

The last day "Verne" will look like this. Yes, we named the ear "Verne." And his chest scar? "Steve"

Dr. Fearon (on the right) and his Fellow

Waking up on the big day

Going up to the surgical floor

Playing in the "tree-house" while waiting

MORE vitals

Waiting for the rolling bed

They have the same movies, but they are much more interesting when they belong to someone else

Drinking "goofy juice"

I feel so bad that he was alone while waiting. And when I say, "alone,".... well, look at the place. #3's was the only surgery going on at the time.

In recovery

Lots of fluid. The yellow is a gauzy bandage stitched to the back of the ear.... protecting the new skin

No words. :-(

Awake

The rolling chair... always fun

The ear on Feb. 3rd. The surgery was Feb. 1st.

I know this is a bit graphic, but my goal with these posts is FULL-DISCLOSURE. I had trouble finding out this stuff. I want anyone going through this to be able to know about the money issues, the doctors/hospitals we deal with and the actual procedure. The "bloody" pack is actually expected and normal. As long as the color doesn't change and there is no "off" smell, we are good. You can see, the top left of the "patch" the raw skin.

As horrible and painful as it all looks, this is #3 on Feb. 2nd.... playing "ice-soccer" in the backyard. I had to call him off the trampoline several times.

To all my friends and family reading this, thank you for the continued prayers.

To anyone researching this, if you have any questions, I am happy to answer them. Just leave a comment and a way to contact you. I will tell you all I can.

TODAY IS A BIG DAY

So, if you have followed this blog for awhile, or you know me, then you know about my 3rd son. He has a condition called microtia-atresia.....in lay-terms "little ear with no ear canal."

He was born that way. I have posted a few times about it here.

Anyway, at some point between the age of 5-8 he will undergo the process to reconstruct his ear. I'm excited for him.....I'm terrified.

Today, my hubby takes him for a "check-up" of sorts to see if he is finally big enough to undergo the harvest of rib cartilage. He might not be. He is pretty small. We won't be surprised if we are told to wait another year. Part of me wants to wait. Part of me wants to get going.

I have reasons for both.

On the one hand, I don't want him starting kindergarten looking different. Oh sure, it's really easy to say that looks don't matter....it's really easy to say that if your child doesn't have a different look. Kids are cruel....even in kindergarten.

On the other hand, I do not want him to have to go through those surgeries...period. If I could do any of this for him, I would in a second. As it stands, the only thing I can do is pray, cry and love on him when he's scared or hurting.

SO....please pray for us for as long as this may take. It could be a matter of months before we are done.....or years. Whatever the time frame, I can assure you it is going to seem like a long time.

JUST A FLY-BY

I know that I haven't been as diligent as I had hoped to be. When I finally lay down each night, I think of awesome things to talk about... even get most of it "written" in my head. Then, I wake up knowing I have/had an awesome post... only to have forgotten it. Guess that means it wasn't that great, huh?

I still will try, even if is just a short blurb to say "Hey," and to tell you what I'm up to.... because I know you care. ;)

So, what is going on right now? Well, hubby is on an 8 day tour. Those are really hard. I remember when he used to fly for Eagle... a 5 day tour was something we moaned about. Now, a 5 day tour is like a gift. The months of February and March do seem difficult, mainly because of all the things we have going on and his work schedule.

I started subbing with the new semester. I did my first gig as a middle school PE sub. Only for a half day. That was a good thing... the haft day. It was OK. I mean, middle school... sure, I LOVE that age. PE? I didn't like it when I was a student. LOL! It was easy, though.

Then, last week, I subbed a full day as a 1st grade teacher. All I can say is this, "PE!" HAHA!! That was easier. I was told by a few little girls that "you are my favorite substitute teacher." That is sweet. I also had a sweet baby tell his momma that I wouldn't let him use the bathroom unless he had to poop. WHAT? HAHAHA!!!! I'm mean that way. (FTR, I would probably do that in middle school, but NOT 1st grade.)

I will be subbing at the high school this coming week... 2 days worth. I won't normally do the high school, and I hope it's not expected often. BUT, they are testing and need a certified teacher, so they were very emphatic in their request. It will be fun. I'm actually looking forward to it.

I need to post about my birthday.

I need to post about the 5th annual Birthday Bash.

I STILL need to post about JBQ.

I need to post about Love Languages.

I REALLY need to post about Disney.

I need to do another post about microtia.

I was going to do another post about friendship, but that was "brain-written" in anger/frustration... I'm SO over it....

DO YOU HEAR ME?!?! I'M OVER IT!!!

Really....

really....

I need to clean out my kitchen for a few reasons.

1. The Birthday Bash is coming up.

2. I got a lot of new bake ware (TOTALLY excited) and I need to make room for the new and ceremonially retire the old.

3. My birthday.... you'll find out why, soon. ;)

4. There is an unidentified odor in my fridge. It's weird. It's deep.... I don't know how else to explain it. It's not apparent when you open the door, but as you close it, there is a mild "after-smell" that assaults you. THAT simply will NOT do. I'm not a great housekeeper.

OK... You are right.... I'm not even a good housekeeper. But, I'm picky about my kitchen. I'm a messy cook/baker, but you can be for darn sure that anything you eat that was prepared by my hands and in my kitchen will be fresh and good. The smell bothers me.

It smells like the milk section in grocery stores... not *sour* milk, but bad milk. Maybe one of the gallons had a leak? I don't know.

Well, we don't have church tomorrow night. SO, while the kids are outside playing, I will be sitting in front of the fridge, with everything out on the counter top and wiping down the inside with hot, soapy, bleach water.

OK... Thank you for your audience. I shall return soon. :)

NOT QUITE SURE HOW TO TITLE THIS

Musings?

Reflections?

Auld Lang Syne?

I don't know.

I guess this is just a normal download. There are lots of thoughts taking up space and I need to get them down on "paper," (as it were) and out of my head.

This past year has brought so much.... mostly joy, some disappointment, some realization.... and, I guess it is only natural that, at this time of year, one.... I.... would think about the past year. Perhaps make some resolutions.

I have learned a thing or 2 about friends and those who do not fall into that category. It was kind of proof, I guess, of what I have always known.... friendships are for a season. And, some of the seasons have changed for some of my past friendships. It's sad, really. Part of me thought about trying to work things out, but in the end, I don't forget. I'm often a ding-bat. Sometimes I'm crazy and gullible. I am not a fool. How do you face someone and say that you trust them when you feel utterly betrayed? I'm glad God isn't like that..... so glad.

I feel I have grown in my faith. A lot is due to.... or maybe proven by.... the above. I know Christians have been/will be persecuted. I know that Christianity will be reason for brothers to turn against each other. However, I know that I have never wavered.... much to the chagrin of others.

I have connected with some new names and faces on facebook. And many of these ladies are such precious people. I'm SO glad to have gotten to know them. One, is someone I admire so much. (Shout out to Mrs. C.H.) Others are such kindred spirits. (Shout out to S.L.) Some, I have reconnected with. (Shout out to hometown friends: L.S. and C.B.) Still, others are bloggers whom I have gotten to know online and I cannot wait to meet them IRL. (Shout out to L.K.H., L.K.M. and C.C.B.)

I am so proud of my 4 boys. They are lights in my life. They are all saved. They are learning the Word of God. They are active in Junior Bible Quiz. They all, with the exception of my youngest, are involved in music: saxophone, guitar, and piano. They make awesome grades in school. And, they are decent. I point this out because I have some friends whose children do all this, but they are.... well.... they are not decent.

We have 10 teachers.... 12, if you count music teachers, who are absolutely phenomenal. I love each and every one of them!

My husband..... wow..... what can I say about him? I adore him! I have always adored him. But, the other day, something got me to thinking about our relationship and I just sat their smiling. He is SUCH a good father. He is a great man - a wonderful spiritual leader in our home. I am truly blessed to have him. I love you, Honey!

Two of my boys, my youngest 2, asked Jesus into their hears this year. My 3rd, back in June. My youngest, just today. Such a sweet, innocent, faithful step... truly, they have the faith that Jesus talks about and wants us "old fogies" to have.

My almost 103 year old grandmother went to Heaven in May. She lived a long life and left a large family. I can't even begin to tell you how many greats, great-greats and (maybe a few great-great-greats). I can tell you that I have almost 30 first cousins on my mother's side, alone. It was sad to say good-bye, but I know where she is. I know I will see her again.

In October, my 3rd son started his journey on correcting his microtia/atresia. (I'm not going to link anything here, but if you want to know more of our story, you can just do a search, on my blog, and pull some posts.) He is SUCH a big boy.

My youngest boy started school. A lot of sadness from me. I love my boys. I only put them in daycare when I was teaching. And, I didn't teach after he was born. My buddy - *sniff*.

I celebrated (if I can call it that) being off Dr Pepper for a year. Now, when I say "off DP" I don't mean that I don't drink them at all. I mean that I am not addicted to them any more. I don't enjoy them as much. I will enjoy an 8 oz Dublin every now and then, but now, when I drink one, I usually regret it because I feel junked out. :-P

I realize that I am maturing. Ha... doesn't seem very mature to say that. But, there were several things that happened this year that I wanted to .... um.... handle less delicately. I am quicker to apologize and see my own fault... a bit quicker to bite my own tongue. I haven't mastered it completely, but I do think I'm doing better.

All in all, 2010 was a great year. Come to think of it, I haven't ever had a bad year... thank God for that. But, as time goes, the last 12 months have been good ones.

Now it's time to say.....

OUT WITH THE OLD AND IN WITH THE NEW!

I hope you all have a great Christmas and a truly wonderful New Year.

GOD BLESS YOU!

MY LOVE....MY SON

By the time you read this, tomorrow will be today. SO, I'm typing this as if it is today (tomorrow.) Get it?

Today (April 21) my third born is 4 years old. How can that be?

I can remember, before I had children, when adults would talk of time flying faster and faster. I would hear the words of grandparents, "Enjoy them while they are young; those moments go by so fast."

Truer words have never been spoken. I am heartsick that my third child is already 4 years old ~ a mere 9 years from being a teenager~ a short 12 years from having his driver's license ~ a brief 14 years before he may leave home....if I let him.

I've been a mother for 8 years. In that amount of time, he will be a "tween." (whatever that means)

My little boy was planned when my DH got his new job and we knew we would be a bit more financially able to care for another human. As with the other two, there was really no turning back once the decision was made. It seems that I have been blessed with fertility. And by that I mean that friends joke about dh brushing up against me and I end up preggers.

ANYWAY, we thought of another baby, and within a few weeks, we knew number 3 was on the way. Ultrasound revealed another boy. Though some family and friends might have felt brief disappointment on our behalf, my hubby and I were thrilled to our fingertips. ANOTHER BOY! He would be named after his great-grandfather.

His delivery was the easiest I had had up to that point. We induced in order to be sure that DH was there for his arrival. I had drugs....I'm not ashamed. Shoot....I'd do them again now if they only allowed some sort of home set-up for an epidural :)

**This is where the men who read might want to stop. The women will be OK. This is personal and somewhat graphic so if you are weak...GO AWAY!

I had my water broken at 9-something. I was given the choice of an epi at 3 cm. The drug-dude would be in surgery for awhile and I knew that by the time he got back, I would no longer be friendly. SO, we decided to go ahead. The only bad thing is that it made me sick...sick...sick. (I stopped counting my puking sessions at 6.)

When it came time to push, I was told to push for a count of 10. Being an old pro...and not feeling a darn thing, I was happy to oblige. The nurse told the doc that I would be ready shortly. I was told to push for another count of 10...which sounded something like this:

"ONE....TWO....THREE....*beep.."DOCTOR J!!!" TEN! STOP PUSHING!"

While waiting, I felt the pressure of a little one coming into the world...through no pushing of mine...he was just ooching out. (Now I know that "ooching" might not be a real word, but please....it fits.)

The doctor came in and said, "Do not laugh, cough or sneeze." (I added to myself...."or vomit. Cause if I do, this boy will fly across the room.")

The room jumped into overdrive. Things flew around. The doc wheeled up on her stool and said, "Give me a little push....give me a little push. You just had a baby." With that, she plopped my 8 pound 8 ounce writhing lump of goop on my belly.

I was immediately concerned when I noticed that his right ear wasn't formed. I was told to not worry...yet. They wanted to clean him up and check him out. I saw the doctor push around on his skull. My precious boy.....my baby....had something wrong with him.

Minutes later, he was taken to ultrasound. It seems that when the outer ear forms, that the gall bladder and kidneys grow. The big concern was not his little, malformed ear...it was the problem that was more than likely inside.

Our hearts dropped. After an easy pregnancy and a very fast and easy delivery, my baby was now a special case that had to be checked out.

I felt guilty. I had had a bad cold when I was about 4 months pregnant. I had taken quite a bit of cough medicine....all given to me by my doctor, but still...what had I done to my child? We found out later that nobody knows what causes it.

We were so thankful when we found out that his insides were all what and where they should be. But the matter of his ear....what was wrong with it, anyway? Suddenly my few appointments became more as we were dealing with a child who most likely had hearing loss.

Hearing tests showed that his good ear was 100% normal. We were thankful for that....but still had no idea how to refer to his ear. We were referred to an ENT. We were so scared. We have never really had to go to specialists before. Suddenly, we needed an ENT....we had to get out of our comfort zone...get away from the few doctors we knew. The Lord, I KNOW, heard our hearts' cries and our minds' fears. Our ENT, referred to us by our pediatrician, just happened to be one of my best friends from high school - someone I could cry in front of; someone who could hug me; someone I could get upset with and still find the answers and the comfort that I needed. THANK YOU, GOD!

It took us awhile to remember, and start to learn about, microtia atresia. Basically, it means that my son has a "little ear" (microtia) with no ear canal (atresia). The hardest part for us is what he will have to go through within the next few years. He will go through about 4 surgeries in which his ear will be rebuilt and a canal will be drilled. His speech and language are developing as they should. The only issue he has is that he can't really hear "in stereo." If you walk up behind him (or from the side where he can't see you) and speak to him, he has to look for the sound. He doesn't locate it as quickly and efficiently as others.

Here is a site that tells more about it... http://www.pde.com/~kazemir/

Shortly after we found out what we were dealing with, we took him in for an ABR. (Now don't ask me what that stands for...I don't remember...LOL...as I say that, my hubby, and my ENT's wife are yelling at the screen, hoping I'll hear that it means.....?????) Anyway, it's the test where the little wires are stuck to his noggin with glue-type goop. He slept in my arms while the computer did its thing. After about 40 minutes, the audiologist said, "I think I have enough." We took in a big breath as she stated, "He DOES have hearing in that ear." THANK YOU, GOD! (Do you see how we keep getting blessed in this time of uncertainty?)

We have learned so much since his birth. We have grown a lot, too. God really dealt with us on our issues of guilt and personal pity. He used our ENT, who had wisdom in dealing with me...a near hysterical mother. The ENT said, "This is not a life-long, nor is it a life-threatening disability. You deal with it for a few years. You fix it. You go on." WOW!!! Isn't that something?

Four years have gone by. Nobody really notices his ear. What they do notice are his dimples. They notice his curly hair and his long eyelashes. I hate to say this about a boy, but he is pretty. He is one of the prettiest children I know. He is lovable and huggable. I love my boy....the cute way he asks for "chocking milk;" the way he loves to eat his "tarTARts" in the morning; the way he runs to the bathroom every time he hears water running, just to take a "baff" or a "showla."

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LITTLE MAN!

I thank God for you. You have taught me so much. I pray many blessings on you as you go out each day. I pray protection over you. I pray for healing for you...in general health and in your hearing. I pray that I continue to learn to be the mom that God wants me to be for you. I pray for God's hand on you as you grow and live as a child of God. I pray all these things in my mighty Saviour's name!