Wednesday, April 02, 2008

I WISH I....


Have you ever been in a situation where someone said something and you had the PERFECT retort....only you couldn't say it? I'm not talking about a physical impediment, but a reason...be it social graces, slow comeback, gutless or too polite, you just don't say it.

I do (or don't, I should say) that all the time. I will talk to my hubby and let it all out. I can be perfectly open with him. I can say the things I wish I could have said, but didn't. And for the most part, he understands why the thought(s) come to my mind.

So, my entry today is in honor of that. First, a disclaimer of sorts. My faithful readers are NOT the ones who brought about these responses. You might think I'm talking about you....but that's just it...your thought. There is only 1 reader who might be able to attach a comment to herself, and it's not who you think it is. The rest of you, it is purely coincidental. Only my hubby will be able to say for sure, and even then, he might question some. (And if you are paranoid and think I'm talking about you, feel free to ask me, I MIGHT tell you.)

And please, REALLY, keep in mind that it is MY blog. I write for myself, YOU are the one who chooses to read. So if some of this gets your knickers in a bunch, please handle it yourself. You should be glad that I kept all this to myself back when it needed to be said. This is just a rant....a pretty negative rant.


THINGS I WISH I HAD THE CAHONES TO SAY OUT LOUD, IN YOUR FACE, AT THE TIME:

1. The person you think is really cool and trustworthy? Well, she has a fat mouth and can't shut it!

2. Really? OK. Shut-up!

3. You aren't too smart, are you?

4. I can do that better than you.

5. I need a different answer because you know what? I can't do that!

6. USED to be a Christian? I would suggest you weren't a very good one.

7. I don't care.

8. Foo-man-chu

9. They have drugs for that....take some.

10. I don't get paid for this!

11. If you try to leave a problem, and the problem remains the same....well, guess what? YOU are the problem.

12. Just go! Stop talking about it. JUST. GO.

13. I understand. Really. You're stupid.

14. Did you know that you have another side to your face? And it is just as mean as the first one.

15. No, I don't feel sorry for you. You are feeling sorry enough for yourself.

16. PLEASE. Just spank your child. I have a belt you can use...or a flip-flop. Both are very effective. Yes it hurts....the child, not you, you won't feel a thing. Honestly, they will love you for it when they grow up...and others will love you for it NOW!

WOW! That was very liberating. May I suggest this as a tag? Go ahead....guts it up and let it go!

9 comments:

tollesons4him said...

Yes, I have as a matter of fact. I have this one person who will remain nameless that I want so bad to say a few of those things to, but I just let it out to my hubby. I love #16!!

Ashley said...

Oh this is hilarious! I'm pretty sure I could make up quite a long list of witty comebacks I've bitten my tongue on! Oh the temptation to accept your tag on this ...

Claudia said...

I'm game ;)

Anonymous said...

Oh the names that come to mind...I WILL ask you later! You r too funny! It's one of the many things I love about you most! I am just a BIG chicken and won't make up my own list, plus mine would not be as funny! LOL!!

Veggiemomof2 said...

I have a sarcastic tongue, so I have the opposite problems as you. I pray that God controls my tongue because I sure can't & more often than not, those sarcastic comments come out before I can stop them.

Honesty is NOT always the best policy ;)

Black Tie Optional said...

#11, #14 and #15 are my new favorite thoughts...particularly number eleven. I don't think I'll leave that one to inernal dialogue...it definately merits conversation.

roniandreid said...

LL, You are too funny!!! I wish I had the guts to tell this certain person #11. lol

Mommy Spice said...

Laughing my b@@@ off!! I can just soooo picture you saying each and every one of these!! I know exactly how you feel. Being a "pastor's" wife, I've heard a lot of things, and have had to find a graceful way of handling them....but in my head, I'm saying it a whole different way!!

zoinatt said...

ROFL you crack me up. Oh what I would give to have the nerve to say #11 to some people.