REGRET

I now know how a ref, who makes a bad call, feels.

I did that this past Saturday.

Or, at least I think I did.

This past weekend was our District competition for JBQ. And IT WAS BRUTAL!

I sometimes quiz master. This weekend, I wasn't supposed to, "unless absolutely necessary."

Well, it came down to that.

I had been warned, several years ago, before I started to QM, that I needed a tough skin. That I would, most likely, make someone mad, and/or hurt the feelings of a child. I can handle that.

I can handle that.

SO.....with that in mind, put yourself into a game.....a very *high stakes* game.

A game that involved my team.

Now, when I QM for my team, I want it to be clear to all that I WILL NOT show favoritism. Perhaps I tried too hard.

There was a question....a 30-point question. The other team got to it first. It was a long quote. Quotes must be exact. This child has a speech issue....well, no. Not really. He just does not speak clearly. However, I am familiar with this quizzer, so I am prepared.

There was a word that ends with an "s." 

I heard it.

No I didn't.

Maybe I did.

.... HEY....go to my judges. That is what they are there for. I go to judges. They both vote FOR the quizzer....that it is correct.

We go on. *My* quizzers are spittin' mad because they heard what I heard.....or didn't.....or might have.

We lost that round.

You guessed it.

We would have won, had I ruled differently.

:-(

On the one hand, had it been 2 other teams, I wouldn't have given it another thought. But, it wasn't 2 other teams. One of them was MY team.

I have spent many hours, since then, physically sick about it all.

Did it make a difference in who is going to Regionals?

No....

THANK GOD!

I was so upset, immediately after, that I was crying and ended up NOT QM'ing for the rest of the day.

Those who know me know that I don't cry so easily over such a thing. I know the rules. AND, if I do say so myself, given all the other QMs, I am probably in the top 10% of the *better* QMs.

Before you judge me for shirking my responsibilities, let me explain.

First, I was not supposed to QM that day. I was supposed to travel with my team as "page-turner." (Without going into a lot of detail: it is my job to find the question, as it is being answered, and make sure the quotes are answered exactly. You can't argue it, if you can't prove it.) During that horrible round, I fully expected our coach to throw out a judges' ruling and ask for reconsideration based on the fact that he ALSO did not hear an "s" where he should have.....I even paused as long as possible. Then, the chance was gone. When the quizzers asked him why he didn't call it....he said he couldn't get to the question in time.

 :-(

After tearfully talking to a friend, she gently reminded me that I was supposed to travel with the team that day, and NOT QM. SO....I went to the powers that be and said, "I really need to be with my team." Because, honestly, if I hadn't heard the "s," (as a page-turner) I would have been on it and been able to back it up.

Hind-sight is 20/20. The more I think about it.....the more I torment myself with it....I think I messed up.

Everyone tells me what I would tell someone else in this same situation. The coach. My husband. Even my son (who would have been the one to answer that question correctly, if it would have been thrown to him) have said that they understand.

I have been told:

You have to make a split-second call. That is hard.

Did you change the way you QM because it was our team?

Do you QM differently for us than for other teams?

Did you follow protocol?

I told my husband that the thing that bothers me more than anything is that I feel like I choked.....over-analyzed.....and didn't go with my gut.

I will get over it....eventually. But, I don't want to forget. Wait. I DO want to forget, because it still makes me feel horrible. I hope it makes me a better QM.

TIRED

I get tired of starting my blogs the same way. I have been *meaning* to write for weeks....WEEKS! But, things keep getting into the way.

Nothing bad, mind you. Just the busyness of life.

SO....instead of waxing eloquent on the seriousness of life, let me just tell you some of what is going on.....not really a bullet blog (I just did that), but more of a patchwork, to copy the term from the whack-a-doodle over yonder.

Wow....January 23 was my last blog. So much for my "once to twice-a-week" blogging. LOL! 

I have been subbing. I have also been teaching CPR. Not too terribly much, in either case, but enough for a little extra.

My project wish list has been slow going. My reading has just been cruddy. I haven't had, or taken, the time to do as much as I usually like to do. I am still in the middle of the same 5 or 6 books, without being much closer to finishing them. *sigh* Disappointing, but there are worse things.

We HAVE started Spring Cleaning. I have a list (only about 3-4 pages) of stuff to do. I'm a list maker. Most of what is on the list does not need to be written down. For some reason, it makes me feel like I have accomplished something big when I get to put a line across a "to-do" item. 

One of the last big things was going through the linens. Too. Many. Sheets! And, comforters. And, pillow cases. And, afghans. And, blankets.

We were able to donate a garbage bag (lawn and garden sized) full of sheets, an electric blanket and comforters. (Yes.....more than one comforter.) That area looks a lot nicer. During that time, I was able to finag... ask DH to vacuum out the hot-water heater closet......because I was *skeered.*

We started to clean out the garage last week. We thought it would be a 3-day job. Well, realistically, I think it is 2 weeks. That is no lie. I started going through my teaching *corner.* I didn't even get 1/3 the way through....I don't know how much I threw away, but I donated 5 boxes of kids books, a box of math manipulatives, compasses and protractors, and a trash bag full of posters. It was hard going through, and parting with it, but it feels good, too. 

We are on our Spring Break right now. The hub is out with the older 2 shooting guns. The youngers are playing games. Being the first official day of our break, I am letting them play for however long they want. It's kind of nice for me, too, as I am piddling around...no real tasks to accomplish. (Though, I have gotten quite a bit of work done.)

My 2nd son has been doing great in JBQ. He has (in the last few weeks) earned his Master Quoter Award and Almost Impossible Award. There is only 1 more award for him to earn, but now, we have to focus on competition....so, no more practicing for the award until AFTER we are done.

Hubby still isn't released to work. *sigh* I love having him home. But, now it is a money issue. Having your pay cut by 40% is tough. However, we are OK....just minor adjustments here and there.

My Christmas tree is down....in case you were wondering. It came down the beginning of February. I am, though, STILL listening to Christmas music and checking my daily countdown....daily. ;-)  I haven't been as involved in the Rudolph Club as I want, but I usually start up right about now. I anticipate that this week, I will be looking into it. 

Our Birthday Bash was fabulous. We ate Mexican food, then rented a limo to take us to a comedy club. Tons of fun!

This week, the boys and hub are building garden boxes for me. We are having dirt hauled in. Hopefully, I will plant soon. It just depends on the weather. Is it warm enough? I might need to wait a week or two.....I don't know. Maybe I should talk to the farmers. (DH's grandparents.) 

Well, I should go. There are a few things I want to get accomplished today. The house is relatively clean, which is nice. We had company for dinner last night....so I'm riding that wave of "it got cleaned yesterday, try not to mess it up too soon." LOL!

I hope y'all still read. Leave me a comment. Let me know you're here.