Sunday, September 05, 2010


So, not such a stellar day at my house. Far from it.

I don't have many horrible days, but every now and again, it happens... like on this day.

Well, my hubby flew out today and usually that brings a measure of..... um.... adjustment. During this time, the kids usually misbehave a bit... they are quite a bit more high strung. They argue and talk back. And, since I know this, I am usually prepared.

Today? Was no different until..... soccer practice.

We are all going to be incredibly busy this fall. Oldest is in band 5 days a week, Karate twice a week and guitar once a week. Number 2 and 3 are in piano once a week and soccer once a week (with games on Saturday.) My youngest has soccer once a week with games on Saturday. AND, they are all in JBQ and have to practice nightly, meet as a team on Sundays and have competitions once a month.

I am not asking for kudos. It will be tough, but doable... as long as the boys cooperate.

Well, during #3's first practice of the season, he fell and was embarrassed. Totally self-inflicted as nobody said anything except, "Hop up!" After giving the obligatory pep talk, he ran back out. Then, coach told everyone to get a drink. It seems that the water was not cool enough for his liking. So, he started crying. And during these tears, there was a lot of snot... gross, I know, but that is how much he cried. I was told that he hated me and never wanted to play soccer. I don't just shove kids in extra-curricular activities. Time and money don't allow just putting a kid in something.

He then said he was tired. He wasn't going to play. He wishes I wasn't in his family.... on and on it went for 40 minutes when I finally decided to leave.

I was angry and embarrassed and I'm still having trouble. (Fortunately, I found a bag of Hershey's Kisses and they are being utilized as a salve for my wounded heart.)

The child obviously has to be punished. I do NOT play that. So...

--because he is tired, he is in bed (by 3:30.)
--because he said he hated me, he got 3 swats.
--because he didn't practice, he is grounded from all electronics through tomorrow.
--should he choose to not practice/play, he will be grounded from all electronics until the end of soccer season. Further, he has to repay his entry fee of $55. For a little guy who only gets $5/week... this is a big deal.

Part of my feels like this is cruel. However, I asked myself "WWHD?" ("What would hubby do?") I think he will approve.

After the swats, and before bedtime, I sat and spoke to #3 about all this. I made sure he understood. (Granted, he didn't hear me when I was hissing all the threats while at the field, as he was crying so much.) Later, I know he understood as he was asking questions about how he could avoid said punishments.

So, here is hoping that he begins to practice and avoids the remainder of the consequences.

Please pray for me.... and him. Thanks.


Lisa @ BlessedwithGrace said...

Girl! I am so proud of you! I know this very bad day was a few days ago and I am just now getting around to reading this post. But, the Lord knew, I needed to read it this morning.
Grace has been sick for almost 2 1/2 weeks. She is finally better - BUT - her behavior and attitude is still VERY sick!
I am sure it is because we huddled over her and responded to every whimper, wave of nausea, elevated temperature, etc! Now that she is better, she is still wanting all that attention. OY! She is trying my already limited patience. Also, because I am the "mommy" and primary "health care giver", she is clinging to me. I know it has hurt my husband's feelings, as he feels rejected by her. :-(
Anyway, seeing you be consistent with your discipline of #3, after his meltdown, has strengthened me! Seriously. I know I have to be consistent and steadfast with my reactions and response to her poor choices and behavior.
Thanks, girl! I needed it!

~LL~ said...

And THAT, my sweet friend.... is why I blog! Thank you for sharing this with me. I will pray for you and your family.

My DH went through a time of being rejected by all the kids, at one point. It was really hurtful as he was gone so much. There were times when they had no choice, I would just leave. When they finally realized how cool Dad is, they started craving that time..... Hope that helps.

Love you!

Kaira said...

As a mama to 4 boys I just want to encourage you that your chosen consequences fit the bill perfectly. He will not forget this episode and if you stick it out he will likely never repeat it. I'm really impressed but as a mostly solo parent, because my hubs works all-the-freaking-time, I know what a challenge days like this can be.

I'll pray for you and I hope you stick to your guns. You're in this to change his heart and you are on the right path.