Well, crap.
I gotta go back to work.
I'm not bitter. Really, I'm not. And, this post isn't something revealing to my hubby. He and I have talked it over and I know that I need to go back.
I don't mind, on the one hand. I'm called to be a teacher. Honestly, I am. I love teaching, and if I do say so myself, I'm a decent teacher. I enjoy middle school... which a lot of people don't. But, the people who don't enjoy teaching the age that I enjoy, well... they enjoy teaching the age I DON'T. :) However, if I need to teach 1st or 2nd grade for a year, I can.
Why?
I have had several ask me that. They know our situation... meaning they know what the 4 boys are involved in and that DH is gone 18 days a month.
It will be hard.
And that is what I dread, more than anything.
I fear I will not have enough.
Enough patience.
Enough strength.
Enough time.
Enough of me to help all of them.
My kids will be at 2 different campuses. That will be interesting.
Anyway.... why?
Well, we have 2 houses that need to be paid off.
We aren't in dire straights, by any means.
No, we want to be able to help all 4 kids with cars and college.
We want to be able to have a bit more....er..... breathing room, I guess you could say.
Certainly, my income won't be completely disposable.
There will be more eating out. More convenience foods bought. A housekeeper. A new wardrobe. Possibly, some sort of after school child care will be needed... depending on the subject and which campus I teach on.
I'm sad because I really love staying home. But, I'm not bitter, nor am I "throwin' a hiss" because I know it is necessary. It is what I need to do.
Will I teach until retirement? I can't answer that. I don't even know how much longer I need to get retirement..... another 18 years? I know that isn't much, considering. Some teachers, who start just after graduation, and teach till retirement is what.... 40 years? YEESH! I can't imagine that.
BUT, that is a long ways away..... 1 year at a time.
I say that, not as a threat, but because I'm SO NERVOUS. You remember the "dreads" I posted up above? Well, if DH starts considering a loony bin for me.... well, I just hope I'm strong enough.
And please.... I know my situation isn't bad, nor is it absolutely unique. But, it is to me.
OK.... all that being said, I have adjusted my resolutions. If they stayed the same, they are not on here. I only posted the resolutions with changes.
Thanks for reading!
Family
- I will implement a family game or movie night once a month.
Personal Projects
- I will tackle one "big" project per week.... through June
- I will bake more of our snacks and treats.... instead of buying them.... through June.
- I will try a new recipe, once a time that DH is home..... *sigh* through June
- I will probably NOT have a garden this year.
- I will not start couponing.
- I will post 2 blogs per week....through June, then probably go to about 1 per week
- I will stick to a weekly menu and housekeeping plan.... through June, then we will be sure we eat every day
- I aspire to reach my target weight BY June.... though I won't tell you what that is, or how much is needed to get there.
- I will start having one-on-one time with each of the boys: once per month, per boy.
- I will read 30 books this year.
6 comments:
Love you :)
You shouldn't feel bad at all about going back to work. I have always worked for awhile, stayed home for awhile, worked at home for awhile, etc. You just can't predict what life will bring from one day to the next. Sometimes I even wonder if my little WAHM ventures are really worth it, but I think about how we will soon be debt free, and all of the fun we are going to have after that. The best part is that we have the options available to make these choices.
I know this is a tough decision for you, but I also know that you can make it work and work well! (((hugs)))
It will all work itself out. Have fun and enjoy it. Take care :) Doobie Gutierrez Sanchez!!
You can do it!! Good luck and enjoy the time :)
You're one of the most driven people I know LL . . . you'll do fantastic with it all. More than anything, it's the unknown that scares and concerns us . . . not knowing exactly how it's going to work; not knowing how the kids will cope; not knowing how you'll manage. But you know what?! It ALWAYS works out. Everyone will fall into a routine, and before you know it, you'll be wondering why you even had any reservations. Hang in there!!! You're a great Mom; a great friend and a great teacher.
Post a Comment