Wednesday, June 20, 2012

SO, YEAH....

I've ticked off more people. This time because of an opinion. 

You have probably heard about the book "Fifty Shades of Grey."

Well, I feel like that book is poison. I think it will damage many marriages....and I posted those views on facebook.

I will not go into a review. I will not go into why I feel the way I do. I already did that. 

What I AM going to do is discuss the fallout. 

It is pretty sad, to say the least.

So, this gal...I don't rightly know how to refer to her. I tried to be a friend to her. I *thought* she was a friend to me....but looking back on certain things that happened during the last 10 years....well, perhaps she considered it being a friend. I certainly do not. 

I will not rehash the multiple times I felt thrown under the bus. I can look back and say it was my own fault. You know the saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." What do they say when you get to times 4 or 5? 

I just shake your head.

SO, I posted my very strong feeling on facebook about this book.

Wait....let me go find it.

"'Fifty Shades of Grey.' Honestly, it will have the power to destroy many marriages. Have I read it? NO....I trust the Holy Spirit enough to stay away from it. I am seeing more and more of my friends who are considering reading it....and I'm disappointed and saddened for them. You might as well tell me you are a heroin addict....I would view it the same way."

NO, I have not read the book. It was a God thing. From the first time I heard of this book, I had a bad feeling about it. And, yes....I have friends who have read it....Christian friends. Do I think it will destroy their marriages? No. Do I think it would destroy mine? No. But, I strongly feel that it is a toxin that does not even need to be introduced into a marital unit.

OK....back to the fallout.

The gal responded that she probably shouldn't respond, but "you felt it OK to put your opinion, so why shouldn't I?" And, then she responded.

That's fine. I didn't respond for a long time to ANY of the comments, because I was doing something. It was the next day, I believe, before I even went there. I knew that the one gal was upset....she does that....often. BUT, I wanted to find out the damages. (Ironically, she and I fly off the handle just as quickly, and at the same types of things....only I don't defriend when I disagree with a fellow "flyer off the handle.")

When I went to her page, BOOM! I'm not a friend. Sadness overwhelmed me. (Looking back, I'm highly irritated that I still get upset when people choose not to like me just because we have differing opinions.) 

Meanwhile, on another page, a friend (real friend) had C/P'd my post. There was some discussion on there that made it feel like a "Christian intolerance" thing. SO, my next post says this:

"Sometimes, I have no words. Today, I am sad. I find it ironic that someone can post their feelings on something, and it is freedom of speech. However, as a Christian, when I post my feeling on something, I am labelled intolerant, judgmental, and finally, defriended. I make no apologies. My God knows how I feel and will help me through this." see where this is going, don't you?

The defriender, though not caring to talk WITH me, still cared enough to see what I was up to. She got mad about THAT post and started talking about me to another *friend.* So, I clicked the little button.

One thing I will say about pulls out the true blues and helps you identify the emotion drainers.

Two *friends* down....but....well, I guess they were never really friends in the first place, were they?

For the record, I did block both of them from seeing me on FB....though they will still be able to read this....and I'm sure they will. They might even comment. And, I MIGHT even publish their comment.....



**ETA:  Do I regret my original post? No. I had a friend private message me to let me know that my post was for her. She had read my post, felt convicted, and decided NOT to read the book. She is one reason God wanted me to post what I did.


Anonymous said...

LL! A lot of peeps don't comment because they are non- confrontational. They don't "want to get involved!" Sometimes I see where they r coming from and other times it is "make a stand, dammit!"

We make stands politically, and if someone belongs to a church with rock and roll they make a a matter of the heart/spirit they clam up and look down on us who do make a stand.

Will this book ruin marriages? I say yes!! If read this book is now in our minds and hearts. We can replay this over and over. We can compare.

Oh no....that would never happen...

I am here to tell you IT WILL.

I had an emotional and somewhat physical affair almost two years ago. It ended almost as quickly as it began. My husband lost trust with me and I had to get that back. My husband loves me and stood by me.....BUT, the difficult part was me. My thoughts, my heart, these were damaged. It has been two years of hell in my mind and only with prayer and help from the Lord am I better. Just as a fisherman throws out his line and reels it back, I have done this for two years and I am telling you it was not worth it.

Reading this talked about book WILL damage you emotionally and spiritually this is most definitely a tool Satan is using for you to maybe doubt your sex life. We need to pray a hedge around us to protect our relationship with our husband to keep it pure and trustworthy and our bed as God designed it!

We are grown women here who NEED to hear the truth. Sometimes truth can hurt or make us feel guilty. If there is guilt, confess to Jesus! Is this a matter to unfriend someone about? No, just a lame excuse!

I am 51 and you younger women just don't want to go there. IT IS NOT WORTH IT!

~LL~ said...

Thank you, Miss Paula. You hit the nail on the head. Once this is read, there are images that will NEVER go away.

~LL~ said...

Some comments from the fb link:

Becky said: WOW is all I can say.

Cammie: Dang!! I wrote a really good post and now its gone!! Basically, it said that bc of ur post and a today show segment, i decided not to buy the book. Do not worry about these 'friends'...the.conviction of the Holy Spirit is weighing heavily on them!

Tina: Often times I read stuff from people on FB and I just shake my head and other times I agree whole hearted. Do I always comment when I disagree? not always I just pray that God will help them with what they need help with. I applaud you for being able to voice your opinion and stand strong with it no matter what that's what makes you a great Christian person. Sorry you had to find out this way which friends are true and which ones aren't that's never an easy thing to do. Keep your chin up cause God has great things for you. I'm so glad that going through what you did wasn't a total loss you did help one person and that is what matters most.

Melissa: Standing up for your beliefs is only right...I do the same...

Jennifer: LL, I applaud you for voicing your opinion. I have always said garbage in = garbage out and good in= good out. As a Christian, I only want to put pure things in my mind. I also want to set a good example for my kids. I, personally, do not need anything in this household that will try to kill, steal or destroy! God has created me and saved me and given me my husband and family and I want to honor God, myself and Mike! You keep speaking the truth girl. This world needs to hear it! Love ya LL!!!!

Tina: One more thing keep on voicing your opinion cause even though I try my best to always do the right thing sometimes I drift and when I read your posts it helps keep me focused on what I should be doing. Your statements about that book made me rethink my Harlequin super romance books so I want to say thank you.

Autumn: There is no shade of grey with the Bible. It's black and white. God's laws and commandments are true. Trash is trash. Our society is SO GREY...with more than "50 Shades." Keep staying true to what you believe in and in His word. Unfortunately, our society sees us as radical Jesus freaks, who are judgemental if we stand up for what we know is right in accordance to the Word. He is our moral compass and the Bible is a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path. We will be persecuted. We will be called names. We are also the children of a most high God.

"No weapon that is formed against you will prosper; And every tongue that accuses you in judgment you will condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, And their vindication is from Me," declares the LORD.

Tanesa: AMEN across the board!

Tanesa: Tina- I'm proud of your openness in using this situation to evaluate other areas of your life. That's what it's all about! We might not be readers of 50 Shades of Grey, but there may be another book, or movie, or activity that we engage in that is just as damaging. So kudos!

Wendy: Oh my, I am clueless about this book but if it is being advertised by an adult video store, it is CERTAINLY out of the question! I read a comment to the blog that made me really scared that any Christian would consider it "harmless" to read. FYI, a fabulous resource about purity and passion in a Christian marriage is Dr. Doug Weiss, now that is some material that is worth reading!! Kudos to you LL!!! Keep it strong Mama!

Laura: Thank you for being willing not to conform to the ways of this world. I have a friend that's a "christian" who is reading this series & asked me if I wanted to borrow it. She said "whew, it's intense" & giggled. This was 3 weeks ago before I knew anything about it, but with her comment I knew it was nothing good. My response was "no thanks."

Anonymous said...

LL- the one scripture that comes to mind that applies to all of this is 2 Corinthians 7:1 "since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates our body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God." prayer for myself and everyone is that we recognize what is of Satan and what is of God. Clearly, this book being mentioned is not of God, but through this, God can be glorified as we set examples of what is righteous- through prayer, scripture, and godly wisdom. He is Almoghty and Omnipotent. (Lea S.)

Laurel Santiago said...

I have had to block quite a few people, and a good percentage of them are relatives. I even ended up deleting my xanga blog several years ago because a frenemy challenged my religious views via comment, which somehow caused a bunch of Mennonites to start attacking me. What the French toast? Not too long ago, I got a hateful email from my biological mother (who had not contacted me in over 12 years), just because my blog ticked her off. The latest facebook enema involved a sister-out-law and her daughter. NOT taking crap from drunks, that's for sure. You have to remember that there are just some people that thrive on starting conflict. You could have posted that the very same book in question was going to be a big boost for troubled marriages, and the drama queens still would have chewed it up somehow.

Anonymous said...

You must have a very weak marriage if it can be threatened by simply reading words on paper. It sounds as if you can't control your thoughts and actions, so you control the data that enters your small, narrow mind. Too bad you don't have the same control over your addictions to fast food and sugary sweet drinks. You need prayer.

~LL~ said...


And, my marriage is in great shape, thank you very much. I guard it. It is one of the most important things in my life. The minute I let my guard down, the enemy comes in to destroy our "wedded bliss."

*Most* individuals understand the power of the written word. If it were not so, propaganda of all kinds would not be used.

And, yes.....I need prayer. Always, I covet prayers. "So go I, but for the grace of God."

Lisa@BlessedwithGrace said...

Proud of you for sticking up for your beliefs. I would not consider reading this book. But, I am sure I know many women who will. That is between them and the Holy Spirit. I know what is right for me. :-)

Anonymous said...

So, Anonymous, it would be ok for your spouse to buy and 'read' Playboy/Playgirl? I mean, after all, their just reading the articles.


Anna Collett said...

If the written word were not strong and powerful, Jesus Christ would've chosen another method for His word and His story! That by the way, should be MORE desired than the slime we are seeing our country delve in to! God has called us to be Holy even as He is Holy. The word Holy means to be set apart or made different~ He has called us away from what the world considers the norm to a life likened into His own! I CHOOSE to separate myself from 50 Shades of Grey and delve into His Word and what He has called me to!!!!

Anonymous said...

Oops, that should say 'they're'


Laura said...

Anonymous- the written word has the power to change lives for better or worse. I think it's wise to protect what's important to you. It's very easy for Satan to get his foot in the door of our lives. It can be through a book, tv, or even infectious people whose goal is to just be negative.

~LL~ said...

By anonymous.....


"Oh dear, L-L. I see you've called on your grammatically-challenged flying monkeys from Facebook to come troll in the comments.

Cammie, Playboy and Playgirl are not ficticious novels. If anything, he or she would be buying them for ***** material Don't be so naive."

~LL~ said...

HA! My hubby just pointed out that if I have flying monkeys that makes me the wicked witch.....he poured water on melting.

Guess I'm not. :-/

BUT, I DO have my CFAST!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous, fist of all, love how you hide behind that title.

Second, I love how you throw the naive word out there as if you know me.

Lastly, sexually explicit is sexually explicit no matter its form. After all, porn films, which if anyone believes those are non-fiction need to look at a :real' man, tear marriages apart everyday.

Im confused as to which one of us is naive...


Anonymous said...

As if we dont have brains in our heads...

I think its interesting when Liberals support other Liberals, they are free thinkers but when Conservatives support other Conservatives they are grammatically challenged monkeys. (Which, aren't all monkeys grammatically challenged?)

*mental head slap*


Anonymous said...

Just a thought "anonymous". If you have ever learned about the sexuality of men and women, you would have learned the following: for the majority of men/women, men are sexually turned on and aroused by sight, whereas women are sexually turned on and aroused by 'emotions'. So therefore, a book, such as the one under discussion, is to a woman EXACTLY what 'porn' is to a man, whether movie or magazine. A woman can get just as aroused by READING sexually explicit 'words' as a man WATCHING the same thing. It's the nature of the beast. Trying to deny it makes one sound just as stupid and naive as a man saying he watches porn for the 'good acting' and for nothing else. Really?!!
And for the record, I just witnessed last week a male Soldier, who by no means is a Christian, but rather an open womanizer, who spoke of the book when he saw a female reading it and said, I quote, "How can you be sitting there reading that, but if I started watching porn on my phone or took out a 'dirty magazine' everyone would freak out?" Apparently, even he isnt denying the truth- and he has no convictions about it; was just speaking the obvious truth.
And to negate the argument that not all woman are "turned on" by reading the book, once again I will use my life as a Soldier to show how naive that comment is. I have watched men sit in a crowd of people and watch porn on their phone and then when it is time for us to go they put their phone away and go on as if they had just been reading an email. Just because they didn't "do other things", or get sexually turned on while watching naked people, DOES NOT mean that what they were watching wasnt considered porn. So yes, a woman can read a sexually explicate book and get nothing from it, and it still be just the same as a man watching a 'video' for fun.
And just because there might be a 'story line' amongst the sexual acts, doesnt void calling it what it is. If you are familiar with porn movies, there are 'story lines' involved as well. Don't forget-not all Christians have "pure" pasts. Some of us have been on "the other side"-so I can say with confidence and conviction, don't kid yourself.
You said one must have a weak marriage to feel "threatened by a book". Yet, just as I wouldn't say, "I'm confident in my marriage so I'm totally cool with my husband watching and reading porn whenever he wants", I wouldn't disrespect my husband by doing the same thing.

Sandra said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
~LL~ said...


Sandra wrote:

LL - you and I spent years together when we went through school - we didn't always agree - but I've always admired your passion. I also admire your open discussion of what the Lord has placed on your heart. I have no plans to read this book (although too many people I know online are reading it - I pray for them). I place a high value on the material I invest my time in reading.

Last night I listened to Dr. Tony Evans challenge us when he said, "Why are Christians apologizing for their beliefs? Muslims aren't apologizing. Atheists aren't apologizing. Buddists aren't apologizing. And we Christians are hiding. Well, let me tell you, everyone else is coming out of the closet, so Christians need to come out too!" Keep lifting up the Lord in your marriage, in your family, with your friends - I'll keep you in prayer my friend :)

~LL~ said...

I am not sure. Interesting conversation, to be sure. But, I do feel bad for him....or her....or them. I get passionate and my angle of approach sucks (so I have been told by a friend. ;-) ). It makes me sad that what I want to say is not *heard.* I don't mind a conversation. Disagree with me. That is OK....but the insults about being addicted to fast food and sugary drinks? It doesn't bother me, but I just want to yell, "MAKE CONVERSATION!" Honestly, I was expecting to read "Yo Momma" jokes. REALLY? I am praying for the sanctity of marriages and you are *concerned about my CFAST consumption? Yeah...THAT is an eternal issues.

Finally, to think it is insulting me to say, "You need prayer." Well, I don't know a Christian who will EVER be upset by that. We KNOW we need prayer. We need prayers and we need to PLEASE, keep them coming.