A DANGEROUS ZERO

So this morning, I had to get up a bit earlier to make sure we were all ready.


Not only is it my 3rd son's birthday (he turned 6) but I was going on my oldest son's field trip. That meant that my 2 youngest boys would be going to the babysitter....needing sack lunches. Since I would be there, I needed a sack lunch, as well. Also, I couldn't just pull my hair back and slip on shorts for exercising, I had to do my hair and work on beautifying myself. (some days are easier than others.)


AND, when we are usually leaving (rushing) out the door at about 8:13 to get there by 8:30 I had to be sure we were all leaving by 8:05 to get to the sitter, then get the rest to the school on time.


NO PROBLEM!


I got up a few minutes early and was through the water, squeaky clean, before I started to wake the boys. The birthday boy was easy to wake up, excited he was to be 6. The oldest was easy to wake, as he was going on the aforementioned field trip. The 2nd is always easy to wake. The 4th? Well, when in a hurry it's best to just get everyone ready that you can and wake him at the last minute.


With my plan formulated and clothes already chosen, I started on the day's routine.


I always make sure the kids have a good breakfast. ("Good" being subjective.) We don't do poptarts or oreos for this meal, but many items are microwaveable. That being said, I chose one of their favorites.....pancake on a stick.


Now when I microwave, I usually do them one at a time....I don't want them too hot or with any hot spots. I put the first in for 45 seconds, got the syrup and unwrapped some others. I also pulled some juice pouches and other things to get ready to pack for the day.


First stick out. Second put in and buttons pushed. First breakfast delivered. Obligatory instructions reminding kids of teeth, deodorant, hair and clean socks. Youngest encouraged to wake up....all on the way back to my room to don another piece of clothing, apply another coat of mascara and find my shoes.


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A zero, when added in the wrong space, can be a truly dangerous thing.




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On my way back into the kitchen, I hear the microwave running. Seeing as how none of my sons think to take it upon themselves to "reboot" the breakfast, I was a bit concerned. You see, I was gone for a little longer than 45 seconds.


A zero, when added in the wrong space, can truly be a dangerous thing.


Did you know that if you microwave a precooked, frozen sausage wrapped in a pancake for 4 minutes 50 seconds...well, you ONLY have to wait 3 minutes and 34 seconds....yep.....the timer had 1 minute 16 seconds left....and some smoke leaking out the sides.


So concerned was I that there was a fire IN the microwave, that I opened it (stopping the cooking) to check it. Immediately, smoke billowed out! You heard me.....BILLOWED!





I had fans on, door ajar, windows open.....so thick was the smoke that we could not go into the kitchen for a good 10 minutes. SERIOUSLY! I was so concerned about the 3rd son (asthma) that I put him on the floor....you know....the whole "STOP! DROP! AND ROLL!" mentality.


Somehow, we were able to get out the door, with not a second to lose. I had to hold a cloth to my nose and pack the lunches one-handed to even tolerate being in the kitchen.


Thinking I smelled of smoke, I explained my mishap to a good teacher friend. She said I didn't smell. Good....maybe driving down the road in 55 degrees with the heat on high and the windows down kind of aired us all out. (Granted, she was stuffed up, but I was grasping.) My babysitter said that I smelled as if I had had some coffee......OK....I can handle that. Coffee is not unpleasant to everyone.


SO, we make it to the field trip. We are in a gym. The kids STINK! (One hundred fifty 4th graders with budding B.O.......blech!) We are close to the end when a teacher asks a group of us, "Do you smell food?" I started to laugh. I said, "Smoke. It's smoke."


She said, "YES!!! Burnt popcorn!"


Close, but not quite. I explained, to the entertainment of all the teachers around, what had happened and why my entire family reeked of smoke.


We got home and, yep....you guessed it....the house STILL smells. Shoot, there might even be smoke damage somewhere. So here I sit, typing this up, throat hurting (smoke inhalation is painful), windows open, fans going, candles burning, OUST sprayed and contemplating how much laundry I am going to have to do to finally be rid of the smell.


Never, NEVER underestimate the power of one, hollow zero.

ETA: The picture of the microwave is not my own...though the depiction is VERY accurate.