LOSS OF A FRIEND

I have a friend...correction, I HAD a friend. Her name is Jennifer. I have lost her. I have no idea why. I am clueless as to what must have happened. I am saddened by this loss.

Jennifer and I met during our first week of college at Texas Tech University. She was one of a group of us that called ourselves "The Chicas." (I know...corny, but it was early 90s and we were a bit silly.) Anyway, Jennifer and the rest of us (a total of 5 girls) did a lot of things together. I was the prankster. (Hmmmm...that could explain my need to go BACK to college and actually graduate.) But, we had a good time. Once a semester, we dressed up and went out to eat at some restaurant that we could only afford once a semester. We called it "Chica-night.) Then, we would gather in one of our dorm-rooms, drink Dr Pepper, eat M&M's and have a sleep-over. Fun, huh?

I was the first to get married. All 4 of my friends were in my wedding. I was in 3 of the other 4 weddings. I was Jennifer's Matron-of-Honor. It was a nice wedding. In fact, I think it will be about 11 years this April.

I heard from Jennifer last when she was pregnant with her 2nd child. Suddenly, I never knew when she moved or had other children. It's like she fell off the face of the earth...except she didn't. :-(

I have "googled" her a few times. I know that she has moved. I know the hospital her hubby (a doctor) works in. I have sent her Christmas cards and birthday greetings. I even found a place where she works and sent an email through the "contact us" portion. I told them that I was an old friend and I was looking for her. I asked that they please let her know and have her email me. They said they would. That was about 2 months ago.

I'm having trouble saying goodbye to Jennifer, though it's been about 6 years since I heard from her. I don't want to seem like I'm stalking her. I guess I'll just stop trying to contact her. My mother says that friends are there for a season. I know the season has changed for us, but I didn't see any signs. My hubby thinks I should call and say, "What's up with all this?" I can't seem to grovel...nor can I be tacky to her.

No...I guess I'll just say goodbye. There is a chance, though slight, that she could read this. I've sent her the address when I practically begged her to write to me.

If you are reading this, Jennifer, thank you for a wonderful friendship. It was too short, but it was lovely. If you ever need a friend, you always have one in me. God bless you and your little family. Goodbye.

I THINK I'LL GO TO AUSTRALIA!

OK...those of you who are teachers know that line. It's from "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day." A kid wakes with gum in his hair and his day just gets worse and worse. He wants to go to Australia to escape it all....he can go with me.

I love being a mom. More specifically, I love being a stay-at-home-mom to my 4 beautiful, healthy boys. But today has been one of those days! A day that I would like to send my children to the circus...except the circus would not have them.

Honestly, the problem isn't with my kids. The problem is my reaction to their actions. They are boys ages 7, 6, 3 and 1. There are some that would probably criticize me for how I handle them, but they can kiss my grits! So in honor of my desired trip to Australia (that will NEVER happen) I will just vent here.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED, MY FRIENDS! Turn back now, if you don't want to join my pity party.

This morning (Saturday) dawned a bit cool, but sunny. I lazed around for a few minutes, then finally go around to go to WalMart. (That, in itself, is an adventure with 4...I could stop here, but where would the entertainment be?) We went to the bank to get $$ to pay for piano lessons for the month of March. (see how on-top of things I am?) Then we went to WM.

I had a short list of about 6 things. The 6 things became 8 when I was fitting DS #1 with soccer shoes. "These shoes are COOL, Mom! I've always wanted monster soccer shoes." I didn't even know they had them. They are black shoes with teeth. Hmmmm....I wonder if they make him run faster or kick the ball farther. Either way, my 2nd was convinced as he said that if his brother had monster soccer shoes, "shouldn't I have some, too?" That is a logic I can't argue. SO, as we fit #2 with shoes, my heart drops for the 5 seconds I can't find #3....who was down the aisle trying on shoes for himself. Shoes are always needed in our house, so I bought 3 pairs instead of 1.

It sounds harmless enough, but picture me pushing the basket while #1 and #2 were on either side trying to push each other down, using the basket with my 8 items and 2 younger children. So it began. We got into the FTU and the boys started fighting about goodness knows what.

We came home...all was OK. We ate lunch. Then came quiet time...and the time everything went to pot. My 2 younger children MUST REST! My 3rd can lie on the bed and watch a movie and be OK. My youngest MUST SLEEP for at least 2 hours. My older 2, for fighting in the FTU, were instructed to lie down until soccer practice. NOBODY RESTED! My 3rd came out TWICE, having pooped his pull-up. (Despite swats, he will NOT poop in the potty...I'm quite tired of wiping his big butt.) My 2nd kept asking "can I get up now?" And my 1st sat on the toilet reading for about 40 minutes. (Who knew those habits started out so young?)

At 2:20, I began the task of getting everyone shod so we could be at soccer practice at 3...a mere 10 minutes away. It took FORTY MINUTES to get this done. My oldest, despite my instruction, opened the front door. My younger 2, despite my warning, kept running outside. My 2nd complained that his white socks weren't as good as soccer socks (which are dirty, because my lazy butt hasn't done laundry in a good while.) AND, while cutting the tag of #1's shoes, I cut through a shoestring. I was IMMEDIATELY informed that new shoes MUST be purchased. Yeah right, kid! While dealing with all this, I must have gotten mean...my 2nd told me he wished I wasn't here right now. Can't get mad at him...I wish I wasn't here either...I think I'll go to Australia.

After practice (that was cold and windy) we came home. My 3rd refused to come in. So, I get him inside, kicking and screaming...literally...the child, not me. My younger 2 started to play chase. The noise was a bit much, but at least they were enjoying each other....until #3 slammed #4's hand in the door. As I rushed to his rescue and opened the door, I scraped the top of #3's foot. So we all sat in the hall kissing wounds and apologizing.

As we returned to our normal (it's shocking, isn't it?) day, my kids start getting upset about a paper mask that they had decorated and tried to fit with yarn. SO, I helped....and heard clanking. I turned and saw #3 and 4 climbing INTO the cabinets with glassware. I hollered over my shoulder. (I know....the model mother would never stoop to yelling. I know it defeats all purpose and teaches my children how NOT to behave, but please...I'm feeling pretty beat-up right now.) As I turn, I hear a crash. "STOP IT!! STOP STOP STOP!" I cry with my hands on my ears. My #2 said quite simply and quietly, "I don't like it when you do that." *sigh* I don't like it either, baby!

After that, my 2nd got up to corral the younger 2. Isn't that sweet? How wonderful that my 6 year old saw the need and responded. How sad that there was a need. I feel like a terrible mother. I feel as if I failed them today. I'm embarrassed and ashamed that my children are trying to talk me down. I'm upset that I got mad at my kids for acting like boys. :(

Tomorrow is another day....thank goodness. I'll get the kids down with a movie and regroup. I just found a bag of chocolate...that's always good, too. I think I'll put off my trip to Australia for another day.

Thanks for listening.

MANNERS AND OTHER LOST ARTS......

Today, I hosted a luncheon for the teachers in our school. It is still winter, technically, and though I have personally been wearing shorts and sandals all over the place, I thought I could push a soup luncheon. SO, soup it was.

We had 7 crock pots of soup, spoons, bowls, crackers, desserts, drinks and napkins. There are 70 faculty and staff that we fed. So what's the problem? Dependability. I cannot believe some people.

Being on the PTO board....more specifically, Hospitality Coordinator, it is my job to make the teachers feel appreciated. Having been a teacher, especially at the school I serve, I have a good handle on what the teachers would want and like. Food is ALWAYS a winner. I brought our Volunteer Coordinator on board. It was her job to find out what I needed and to call the many people who paid their $5 dues and stated how much they wanted to be involved.

"GREAT! THANKS! WE'LL GIVE YOU A CALL!"

So one call goes out to a sweet person. She is asked to bring spoons. I got spoons. TWELVE OF THEM! I kid you not. TWELVE SPOONS! PTO got to buy spoons today.

It is easy to say that something came up. But you know what? Something ALWAYS comes up! The last luncheon we had was a Frito pie luncheon. My cheese lady got sick. She really did. She called to let us know ONE WEEK AFTER the fact....one week after PTO bought cheese.

I have money at my disposal. Not a lot, but enough to get me out of the two pickles I have been in regarding "Teacher Appreciation." *sigh* What do you do? I can't really address the members at the general meeting and say, "HEY, CHEESE LADY, THANKS A LOT!" (though I must admit....it would be quite gratifying.)

This problem isn't the only one I've noticed. It seems to be an epidemic...and epidemic of cosmic proportion! It is due to poor raising, I believe. Manners are totally lost. Nobody cares anymore. You can't force someone to mind their manners. You can't force a "please" or a "thank you." (unless of course you are holding some tasty morsel out of the reach of a toddler or young child.) All you can do is train them "in the way that they should go" and hope it sticks.

My kids are being trained. So diligent is my tutelage that my 20 month old can be heard saying, "sawwweeeee" and "pweez." As we walk through WM, my children are often heard saying, "please", "excuse me", and "yes ma'am."

When I see a child look up and say, "excuse me," my heart instantly warms and I respond with "that's OK, sweetie," or something equally pleasant. Here lately, even when I say, "excuse me," I'm met with silence.

I was pushing a cart, with 2 of my 4 sweet babies, and I got rammed by some person in a hurry to get into the store. NOTHING was said by her. In my aggravation, I stated, rather loudly, "exCUSE us!" Not a look, not a huff....NADA! NOTHING! ZERO! ZIP!

All that being said, I'm tired of depending on the undependable. I'm tired of insincerity. I'm tired of people being inconsiderate. I hope, and pray, that I'm always mindful of how I come across. I do not want to be one of those people that I'm talking about now.

He shoots...

My son is 7 years old. He is a smart kid...impressively smart. He is in piano lessons. He has played for a bit over a year. He is not bad. My son is in Junior Bible Quiz. He is GOOD. It is amazing to see what this little guy remembers. My boy has some of the nicest handwriting for a second grade boy. My child does his homework quickly and correctly. My oldest makes good grades. He is in Royal Rangers, which is like boy scouts, and has so many patches, his vest is almost full. On top of that, he is a good big brother and an all-round great kid. I love my boy. I'm proud of my boy.

Now let's talk about organized sports. For the past two years, this same child played soccer. He is not much for being yelled (read screamed ) at from a sideline....like last year's coach did. It took him awhile to learn what he was really supposed to be doing. He is a perfectionist...which I am learning is both good and bad. It is good because this child will be a darn good leader when he grows up...if we can train him properly. It is bad because he gets painfully embarrassed when he does not succeed. My child has trouble with sports.

The trouble comes because for one thing, he does want and expect to do everything right the first time. Another problem is that he is all limbs and feet right now. His body hasn't caught up with his legs...so he flails around a bit. An even bigger problem is that one of his younger brothers, my 2nd son, has a natural sportsman's talent. Things come easier for him. I watch my first-born and I want him to succeed, just like any mother wants her child to succeed. When I say it is painful to watch, I mean that with all the love that fills my heart and causes it to swell with pride. I ache for his need, and my desire, for him to be good at what he does.

So this year, he played basketball. We have had about eight games. There are ten children on the team, so my son plays for two quarters, or 16 minutes per game. We go to practice once a week. He is really good at passing the ball. He doesn't jump in an intercept any pass, because the ball wasn't meant for him. (He is pretty legalistic.) He doesn't rebound often, because he's not aggressive. He doesn't run and dribble like an NBA star because....well, he's not. He has only shot a few times...and one of those times was at the wrong goal. *sigh* I love my son. I'm proud of my son. I want him...I NEED him to feel successful and proud of himself.

So yesterday was the last game. It is a long 32 minutes of 6 and 7 year olds bouncing the ball and missing baskets. My son played in the second quarter and the fourth quarter. In the second quarter, a child on the opposite team lost the ball. My son picked it up. Normally, he freezes and then passes it. (I told you...he's a good passer...he knows it and has capitalized on his talent.) As soon as he stopped, all hunched over, protecting the ball, I hollered in my half-teacher/half-mom voice (pretty loud.) "RUN!" "RUN!"

He ran toward the basket (the right one, I must add) and stopped to pass the ball. In the same voice that I used just seconds before (and using as much support that my diaphragm could muster) I yell, "SHOOT"!"

He shoots.....

For what seemed like minutes, the ball just hung there. I said the quickest prayer I could utter in only two words, "PLEASE, GOD!"

HE SCORES!!!!

I had tears of delight; tears of unadulterated joy. My son, whom I would give my life for, the one that I protect physically and emotionally, made his first points EVER in a game. Not only that, but he made another basket in the fourth quarter.

We lost every game this season. I don't care. My boy made two baskets in his last basketball game. He is so awesome. The smile on his face; the tears in my eyes; THAT, my friend, is priceless.

House stuff

1. Aprons – Y/N?
Yes, but only if I'm going to have company and need to remain presentable.

2. Baking – Favorite thing to bake:
Cheesecake, banana bread, coconut cream pie, cookies

3. Clothesline – Y/N?
Never used one in my life. Seen 'em. My grandma used 'em, but that's all I know about 'em.

4. Donuts – Have you ever made them?
With Krispy Kreme around? LOL!!!!

5. Every day – One homemaking thing you do every day:
Clean the kitchen.

6. Freezer – Do you have a separate deep freeze?
Yes...LOVE IT!

7. Garbage Disposal – Y/N?
Used to, but on a septic system, disposals are bad news.

8. Handbook – What is your favorite homemaking resource?
I have a book given to me by a dear friend called The Art and Science of Housekeeping.

9. Ironing – Love it or hate it?
ROFL!!!!! I don't iron. I use a wonderful spray by Downy that releases wrinkles...I also throw things into the dryer.

10. Junk drawer – Y/N? Where is it?
A few....kitchen

11. Kitchen: Design & Decorating?
I don't know. White appliances, blue and white stuff, fruit on the dishes....

12. Love: What is your favorite part of homemaking?
Cooking and grocery shopping...I guess any kitchen duties.

13. Mop - Y/N?
Swiffer

14. Nylons - Wash by hand or in the washing machine?
AGAIN...ROFL!!!!

15. Oven - Do you use the window, or open the door to check?
I crack the door. I have a window, but I usually have to poke or prod on something to assess "doneness."

16. Pizza - What do you put on yours?
PEPPERONI!!! And salsa...sometimes ranch. YUM!

17. Quiet - What do you do during the day when you get a quiet moment?
Coupon, work on my lists, blog, nap, read.

18. Recipe card box - Y/N?
Yepper and MANY books!

19. Style of house
One story, 4 BR, 2 bath, FP, 2CG

20. Tablecloths and napkins - Y/N?
Yes....my table is GORGEOUS! I have 4 boys that love Hot Wheels. I have to keep the table covered for protection.

21. Under the kitchen sink - Organized or toxic wasteland?
Yes.....It is organized chaos of all deadly toxins that should be in every home :D

22. Vacuum - How many times per week?
Anywhere from 1-5

23. Wash - How many loads of laundry do you do a week?
a week? Are you kidding? I do 2-4 loads a day...forever and ever and ever and ever

24. X's - Do you keep a daily list of things to do and cross them off?
Yes. That keeps me sane.

25. Yard - Who does what?
I mowed for the first time EVER this past summer. We have a bit over 1/2 acre. I ride the tractor mower, do the garden, DH does everything else that we might want done.

26. Zzz's - What is your last homemaking task for the day before going to bed?

MOMMYSPICE....YOU'RE IT!!!

I'M BACK!

OK...I'm not foolish enough to think that everyone was keeping up with my schedule. In fact, of the 2 or 3 people who consistently check this site (and see that I haven't updated since the 6th) well, you are wondering where I have been.

I was in Mexico. It was a wonderful trip. I went on a missions trip with a group from my church. We were in Miguel Aleman, just across the border from Roma, TX. It was such a neat trip. We went to help them with building a church.

I fully expected to be helping with the building...the pouring of concrete and such, but it ended up that I helped in the clinic part. I'm glad, because I got to really work with and among the people. I spoke enough Spanish to be entertaining to the Mexicans and impressive to the gringos. (It was not very good.)

We saw a total of about 160 people in the clinic. We had a tent service and passed out goodies to about 300 people. We saw dozens give their heart to the Lord. And I even got to sing in Spanish....really. I can carry a tune, but doing so in a different language is challenging, but fun!

I am now on the road to recovery...in many ways. I brought back a sinus infection, my hubby is about to go back to work (after a 6 month "break") and I have laundry to do.

My trip to Mexico showed me all I have to be thankful for. It made me aware of little things and hyper-sensitive to the big things. I have some new beginnings to look forward to, as well as some REbeginnings. I've noticed trees starting to bud. The temps are warming. It is a good time to be alive.

SAYING GOODBYE

It started out easy enough. For my oldest son's 3rd birthday, we decided to get him a fish tank. What a soothing and educational gift...don't you think? Anyway, buy a tank, some rocks, a few fish and that's really it. There are a few maintenance items that have to be tended to about twice a month like vacuuming the rocks, changing the filter and replacing the water. But other than that, and feeding the docile creatures, it is really easy.

So we start with a 10 gallon tank a few neon fish, some painted glass fish and a sucker fish we named "Slurpee." (He was named after "Slippery Soap" on Blue's Clues.) The little fish didn't last too long. The idea of having pets with little to no work was dashed after discovering things like my 2nd son trying to make a seaplane out of a small plastic airplane. Hot Wheels don't float and neither do coins. Slurpee DID survive and managed to grow from his original 2 inches long to about 6 inches.

When we moved to our new house, we painstakingly fished out all finned critters and bagged them. We emptied the tank. Upon arriving at our new home, we washed the tank, replaced the rocks and plants, "doctored" the water and transferred the fish. All but Slurpee croaked. We went to the pet store and bought half a dozen bright orange fish that we soon found out were sword tails.

The sword tails seemed to adapt well enough. So well, in fact, that they (the fish) deemed it appropriate to participate in a little AHP (aqua-hanky-panky.) When it was discovered that there were about 20 babies, we decided to get rid of them. I didn't flush them. Even though I never feel attached to things such as fish, I'm a bit too tender hearted to quash any type of life. SO, I scooped them out and donated them to a science teacher.

Imagine my surprise when I came home and discovered one lone baby. I had isolated the 2 known males (evidenced by their black, sword-like tails). I prayed that the little fella would soon sport a tail of his own. A few months later realized that our 50/50 odds fell on the side of female. A few months after that, EVERYTHING orange (around 40) was donated to a pet store.

Since Slurpee was alone, we decided to get ONE FISH. What can ONE FISH do alone? (The thoughts are a bit disturbing, but reality is reassuring.) My oldest decided to get a Siamese Fighting Betta. He was a beautiful fish. He was purple with flowing fins. He got along well with Slurpee....seeing as how Slurpee was a good 5 times bigger....and they coexisted nicely.

We purchased Betta food and replaced plants. AND, because my son is how he is, we named him Betta....that was the name on the container. Get it? ANYWAY, Betta was with us for about 2 1/2 years....until a few weeks ago.

We knew something was wrong when we went to feed the fish and noticed Betta lying on the rocks. Dead! So, DH got the net and went to fish him out. Pun intended. As soon as the net brushed him, he took off. It was weird. I mean, he didn't look right, but still...he's alive. We can't flush a live fish. That is cruel.

I don't know if it's possible to bond with a fish. If so, I guess I bonded as well as one could. When I turned on the light, he would swim to the top to wait for food. He would come to the glass when I would tap it. He would float close enough to the top to be touched, and when I did, he didn't flit off like one might expect.

No, we gave Betta all the time he needed to expire. Finally, after about a week of not seeing him (he was in the cave), DH went, net in hand, to try to rouse him again. What he discovered was not a purple fish, but a scaleless white DEAD FISH! EWWWWW!!!!

I was not really sad. I had no feeling, really. The thought is gross, to be sure, but I guess that is the way of things. So, in a few weeks, we will go the pet store for more fish. I don't know the kind or how many, but a few things are for sure. One, it won't be a Betta. I'm sure my 2nd son will want to pick one, so we need to have 2 fish that can cohabitate with each other and with a large sucker fish. Second, they CANNOT have babies. I don't know what we'll do about that one, but we will try.

Goodbye, Betta. It was nice knowing you. I hope you are enjoying swimming in that great fish tank in the sky.