Tuesday, July 20, 2010


Or, CHL.

Yep, my hubby and I are qualified now and have sent in the money for the license. It should take about 3 weeks before we can officially carry a concealed handgun.

However, this post is NOT about that. Not directly.

No, this post is actually about the class we had to take. It had to be no less than 10 hours and no more that 15 hours. That is ONE. LONG. DAY!

I need to preface this with some background information.

If you (and you haven't, except for maybe 2 people who will read this) have ever sat with me during an in-service, you know that I tend to document everything I hear that is wrong, or funny. I find it funny when someone tries to train someone in something.... tries to sound official and.... well, doesn't.

So, as is my habit, I wrote down a few things of interest. Some of these things I will give more info, some things, I will just give what I heard.

Either way, I hope it is as entertaining for you as it was for me and my DH.

Before I get to the funny stuff, let me briefly tell you about the class. We, 11 students and 3 instructors, were in a hotel conference room from 7:00 a.m until about 6:00 p.m. We had about 30 minutes for lunch, but they brought in pizza... so we couldn't even leave. By far, the thing we had the most fun with was the shooting. Yes.... we had to shoot a target.

Out of 250 points, we were required to get... gosh, I don't even know. BUT, that is not what is important here. The thing I want to point out is I beat my hubby by 3 points. I got 244 points, he got 241. Below are our targets.

DH's target

My target
Good times, man. Good times.

OK... now for the funny stuff.

Though these instructors were very nice... they weren't necessarily eloquent. With some, the word "redneck" comes to mind. The way they worded some things, the way they held themselves, and the way they pronounced some things.... well, I had to work to be polite and not laugh out loud! It was SO funny.

Which brings me to my first presentation.

The female instructor said the word "proNOUNciations." Not pronunciations.

This gal was a gem. She also said "tinter tantrums" instead of temper tantrums. In fact, she said this multiple times.

The former detective kept talking about being "vunerable" and in fear OF your life.

Speaking of being in fear, you should have seen the "students." One had a record.... a record that needed to be discussed. As in, not knowing whether he would qualify as he didn't know if his record would be expunged. :-0 I mean, really? You MIGHT or might not, have committed a felony and you aren't quite sure where you stand? The former detective told him he needed to make some phone calls because there might be a warrant out for his arrest.

One student reminded me of my 5th grade science teacher. He wore sandals.... despite the instructions that said NO SANDALS! Then, he sat with his feet... ugly, gnarly things, I might add, on the table. ON THE TABLE! He also kept interjecting random examples to what the instructor was saying. At one point, when the student was asking a series of idiot questions, the instructor looked away, and addressed someone else. Talk about a brush off.

There was one woman in there that was about as sharp as a round rock. Bless her heart. The hotel brought in a plate of cookies... about 3 dozen. Well, she complained to the instructors that they didn't supply enough chocolate chip.... SHE HAD FOUR STACKED AT HER SEAT!!! She complained to one of the instructors when he was talking about having to pull the gun. (This was during the "gang tattoos and tasers" section of the day.) She said that it was stereotyping. He called it the "Duck Theory." If it walks, sounds and looks like a duck, it's a duck. I don't think she got it.

We had to watch a film in which the dude showing off how he can shoot mannequins kept saying "ash"phalt. He also talked of being "in mortal fear for our lives." He said that, should we have to use our firearm to hold someone off, that we should give clear instructions. In fact, we should (and I quote) "shout instructions while looking mean." HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Ex-cop-dude showed us a few slides and results of self-injury. Seconds before these pictures he said, "Here are some gross pictures." I know... not really funny, but tickled me.

He also used the word "avoidness." WHAT, I wonder, is "avoidness?" Even the other 2 instructors (quick as they were) were asking each other in whispers, "shouldn't that say 'avoidance?'"

Finally, there was the 3rd dude. He showed us a few cartoons and also had a few mispronunciations. Do you remember this?

Well, you guessed it, he said "statue" instead of "statute."

Then, in one of the cartoons where the subject's height was in question (and nobody laughed) the instructor pointed out that the subject was "short of statute"..... LOL!!!

'twas a sight to behold.

One of the instructional slides talked about protecting your home, your family and "other other's." This was printed on the bottom. It was the same slide presentation that used the word, "avoidness."

It was a very interesting thing. My hubby and I laughed quite a bit, though it was a very serious subject.

I would love to hear your thoughts on having a CHL.

Do you have one?

Are you going to get one? Why or why not?


Jane Ann Shipp said...

It is people like those crazy rednecks who will have all the guns! As for me and my house, I'm praying a hedge of protection around it and I'm not going to carry a concealed weapon or even have one in my house. Rick Perry wants a bill passed to allow concealed weapons in church! When that happens, I'm staying at home and watching church on TV or on the Internet. Maybe I'll move to the UK where the weapon of choice is a billy club. Their crime rate is something like 40% lower than ours.

Unknown said...

That's pretty darn funny and GO YOU for doing better than David!

Catey said...

Wow-that is a LONG class!! Sounds like all sorts of fun as well. lol

I do have a permit, and if I didn't at this point, you can bet I would be on a waiting list for a class. It's getting harder and harder to get into classes here b/c so many people are coming here to get a Ut license b/c of reciprocity in so many other states. I was actually looking at stats the other day-compared to 15yrs ago the number of Ut permits issued has gone up astoundingly!! Nearly half of the 241,000+ permits granted by the state are held by nonresidents. In 04 Ut recieved 8000 applications for permits, last year it was 73,925-60% of them coming from nonresidents. Wow!

My class was awesome, instructor was great, very entertaining and totally down to earth. A cousin hosted it at their home. :) Fun stuff!

And kudos for beating dh! Love it!
(the only way I can outshoot Aaron is when the target is shaped like a cat. Seriously. Can't shoot the round targets worth squat, give me a "something" to hit, and it stands no chance! lol)

~LL~ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
~LL~ said...

Most rednecks I know (and I know a passel of them) seem to know what to shoot and when :) It's the big city folk that scare me. As far as the CHL, I trust the people who actually care enough to take a class and learn the laws much more than others.

Catey, we looked at the UT permit (can get it here for 1/2 the time.) But, there was no actual shooting practice AND we don't know what is going to happen in the future that would limit us if we had an out-of-state CHL.

Lisa.... it was a teacher's worst "grammatical" nightmare. :)

I don't intend to carry everywhere. I will probably only carry when alone or alone with the boys.

Catey - our targets were human shaped... as you could see from the picture. :)

Elizabeth said...

Well, lady, I myself just put the mouse on the sticky trap I caught last night out side for my DH to deal with later. Then I keep reading...Conceal Carry! You wonderful woman! I want desperately to get mine - but I am trying to figure out what a good cause statement would be that would satisfy those here in California. Do you have to supply a good cause statement in TX? Can you offer any suggestions? I am simply a SAHM who wants to protect her family...God Bless you woman!
And as a side note - UT I think offers CCW for non-residents - which people get to up their reciprocity. Your DH may want to consider if he travels a great deal.

~LL~ said...

Elizabeth... thank you for your comment and reading. :)

No, here we don't have to submit a cause statement. We did look at the UT license, considered it, but if/when laws do change, we didn't want to lose the right due to not having a TX license.

My hubby is a pilot, so he can't carry when he travels. Home protection is primarily why I decided to get the license. I hope you are able to pursue this. Considering the times we are in, it is good to be prepared now... once they take the rights away, it will be almost impossible to get.

Hope you keep reading!