AGE: An observation

We are all getting older. The reason I know this is that I, of all people, was not going to get older. If I can't fight it....neither can you.

I needed to go shopping today. I'm not a fan of the shopping trip. I do enjoy grocery shopping, but not clothes shopping....which is what I had to do. And not just regular clothes....but a swimsuit.

So anyway, the whole time I was doing my shopping, I was contemplating age. Granted, I could have easily contemplated fat, or gravity. Diet or plastic surgery. But my real enemy here is age.

Back in the day (OK...WAAAAAY back in the day) I was quite skinny. And I don't use that term lightly. Size B cup in boobage, less than 130 pounds and 5' 7". I remember seeing my "ideal" weight as being 140.....I was 12 pounds UNDERweight. I swore I would NEVER get so fat. HA! Such a silly, silly child. My children saw to that. Now I need to lose 12 pounds to get to my ideal weight. (I didn't say what multiple of 12 I needed to lose, did I?)

Let's get back to age. I looked at various dresses, skirts, blouses and swimsuits. I tried on many...too many. It was depressing. I now have to buy clothes with a "W" beside the size number. And though I know it stands for "women's" I can't help but think "wide" or "whale" or "WHOA-baby!" AGE has done this to me.

As I was trying on these dresses, I found myself looking at my reflection (both in and out of the clothing) critically. I have a few battle scars around my mid-section. My legs are still good, for such an old lady. They are still quite muscular and not really flabby. (Though I do have that little pocket of fat right up by my......). Needless to say, if I was living in the Renaissance period, I would be a goddess! Seriously. You know in the old days when there were portraits of scantily clad women....well, I could do that. I am sufficiently fluffy.

I am not delusional enough to think that I can wear a 2-piece...even a 2-piece with a long top. When I tried one on and lifted my arms....well, suffice to say that what peeked out and jiggled my way was cause for alarm. And a little skirt. Not that my legs are so bad. I don't really have thunder thighs, but should anything crawl where it's not welcome...again, some things I just don't want to share.

Enough about my body....I'm talking about time, here.

My face. What is happening to my face? I don't wear a lot of make-up, so my skin is relatively smooth. I never suffered acne...thank you, God....so I don't have "pizza skin." But, my cheeks sag a little. My most recent prayer is that I don't get jowls like several of the aunts on my mother's side of the family. And crow's feet? We won't refer to them. They are laugh lines! And I have laughed A LOT! I can remember my mother, when she went through her age crisis, discussing how she needed to change her makeup habits because, "You know, B? I'm getting older and I want to go with it. I don't want to try to look too young." I would just roll my eyes. Whatever! Well, here I am.

Like Truvy said in Steel Magnolias: "Time marches on and sooner or later you realize it is marchin' across your face."

Hair. What is UP with my hair? I pray that I will be blessed with my grandmother's hair. She is 100 years old and still blond. I hope I can expect that. I don't have gray....that I have seen. But if I were brunette, I'm sure I would have my share, especially with my personality. I am also having trouble finding a style I like. My hubby likes it long. I do, too, but it's getting tough to manage and I have to wonder if it seems too young for me. (Though I hardly think I'm ready for the weekly trip to the beauty parlor and sleeping in a night cap.)

Music. MY music is now considered "classic." WHAT is UP with THAT?!

Traffic. I am a fairly cautious driver. I have 4 treasures that I cart around regularly...I don't take chances. But PLEASE! When the speed limit is 65 mph, 35 mph is really not safe. I know the reflexes slow some, but really? Is that what I have to look forward to?

I am hoping that today I started to think that my age (all 37 years) is OK and that I can handle this gracefully and attractively. I know most get to the point where they are down-right crotchety. Not only that, but so often they stop caring about their appearance, both physical and in dealing with people.

I don't want to recapture my youth, but I do want to hold it as long as possible. Is this a mid-life crisis? I don't have time for that! All I know is that I'm very resentful of the toll that time has taken on my life.

Oh to grow old gracefully....I am trying!